


Kindness and Innocence

by xxMad_Donaxx



Series: Emotions [1]
Category: Dragon Age
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-06
Updated: 2012-06-14
Packaged: 2017-11-07 00:57:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 32,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/425169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxMad_Donaxx/pseuds/xxMad_Donaxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for Kmeme prompt found here<br/>http://dragonage-kink.livejournal.com/8832.html?thread=33950592#t33950592</p>
<p>Fenris is changed into a child but remembers nothing of his adult life. Anders gets the job of looking after him. Eventual Fenders.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

# Chapter 1

Anders walked a few steps behind Hawke, following him and Aveline to Fenris’ decrepit mansion. Normally Hawke would have picked Fenris up first and Anders last but they had bumped into each other in the market. Anders had been searching for supplies that he hadn’t found in Lowtown. Hawke was going to the Wounded Coast for some reason and I could really use your healing skills he said and Anders just didn’t know how to tell him no. So here he was, going to see one of his least favorite people to go play in the sand and they would irritate each other all day long. 

He sighed as he looked up the stairs at Hawke. At least the view would be nice. Hawke had made it very clear that he wasn’t interested in men but that didn’t mean Anders couldn’t appreciate the other mages…assets. He felt Justice’s disapproval of his leering, sighed again and moved his gaze elsewhere.

They finally reached the top of the stairs and turned to the left. It only took a few minutes to reach Fenris’ door. Hawke knocked once and opened the door. White smoke billowed out and Hawke ran inside followed closely by Aveline, both of them beginning to cough from the smoke. Anders followed them inside and covered his mouth and nose with his arm. 

While Fenris’ home had never been neat it was in complete disarray from its usual messiness. Things that had actually been on the wall were now littered across the foyer. Anders shook his head and made his way through the mess to the door Hawke and Aveline had disappeared through. The next room was in a similar state. It was almost like one of Hawke’s force spells had been used. 

“Hawke!” Anders called out. He’d lost sight of him in the white smoke. 

Aveline appeared from out of the gloomy fog like smoke and shoved a blanket wrapped child at him. Anders automatically took the child, one arm around their shoulders and one underneath their knees. He shifted so that the child’s head rested close to his arm and saw a shock of white hair and pointed elvhan ear poking out of the blanket. 

“Get this child out of here!” she ordered him.

Anders scowled at her as she ran back into the gloom. He followed her orders though and walked back the way he’d come carefully. Once he was out of the mansion he skirted the crowd that had gathered and ignored any who spoke to him. Finding a shady corner away from the crowd he carefully sunk down and gently let go of the child’s legs when they rested on the ground.

With his arm still around the child’s shoulders he moved the blanket away from their face. Anders gasped when he saw familiar bluish white lines on his chin and neck. He pushed his shock away for the moment and let the healer take over. Anders looked around and saw that no one was looking and cast a healing spell.

There was nothing physically wrong with his body. Fenris was just unconscious, probably from whatever had turned him into a child. Even as a child his age was hard to determine but he guessed around eleven or twelve. Anders looked up and saw Hawke hurrying towards him.

“Aveline’s going to have her hands full for a while,” Hawke said quietly as he knelt down in front of Anders. 

“Hawke, what happened in there? How did this happen?” Anders asked gesturing at Fenris’ inert child’s body.

“He really is Fenris then?” Hawke asked.

“Are there any other lyrium etched elves living in Kirkwall Hawke?” he retorted sarcastically. 

“No I suppose not,” Hawke sighed. 

“What happened?” Anders asked again.

“I’m not sure. Let’s get him to the estate,” Hawke said as he stood.

“And I have to carry him. Perfect,” Anders muttered as Hawke walked away. 

Anders hefted the still unconscious boy and hurried after Hawke. As he carefully navigated the stairs Fenris moaned in his arms. His eyes fluttered open and the boy began flailing, trying to right himself. Anders stopped moving and pulled him closer to try and stop his struggling and to keep his balance.

“Stop that!” he snapped at Fenris. “Do you want me to drop you?”

His struggling ceased immediately. “I’m sorry Master,” Fenris said quietly, subserviently. “I can walk. I do not want to be a burden.”

Stupidly, the first thing that struck Anders was his higher pitched voice. Then what Fenris had said actually registered in his mind. “Oh I did _not_ just hear you say that,” Anders said irritably as he set Fenris down on his feet. 

Fenris dropped to his knees in front of Anders, right there on the steps in plain view of many citizens of Kirkwall. The blanket fell to his shoulders and small hands moved to hold it in place. 

“Please do not punish me Master,” Fenris said fearfully. “I’ll be a good slave I promise.”

“Get up damn you!” Anders hissed. “If this is a joke Fenris it’s not funny at all.”

He shot to his feet so quickly that he almost fell backwards down the stairs. Anders’ hand shot out to steady him, holding onto his shoulder. Fenris trembled slightly under his hand and Anders studied him. Head down, shoulders slumped, hunched slightly, it all screamed slave. 

“Maker,” Anders whispered. “You’re not joking are you?”

“Master?” Fenris questioned quietly.

“Hush,” Anders said firmly. “You are not to call me that. You will walk beside me until we get to Hawke’s estate.” He looked around and saw that they were drawing a few stares. Hawke stood at the bottom of the steps looking up at him. “Do you understand Fenris?”

“Yes Ma…gistar. I am to walk beside you and stay quiet,” he said.

“Good,” Anders said as he hurried off down the steps. They quickly caught up with Hawke and he fell in beside Fenris.

“What’s wrong?” he asked sounding slightly worried. 

Anders shook his head. “Not here.”

Hawke arched an eyebrow at him but said no more. They hurried to the Hawke estate, Fenris jogging between them to keep up. When they arrived Hawke opened the door and Anders followed him in. Fenris began trailing a pace behind Anders as he walked to the library. He nodded a greeting to Bodahn as he passed and slumped into one of the chairs when he got there. Fenris knelt and sat on his feet beside the chair Anders had fallen into, never once looking up from the floor. Several minutes later Hawke joined them and simply stared. 

“What is going on Anders?” he asked in confusion. 

Anders leaned forward and scrubbed his face with his hands. “He thinks he’s my slave,” he said miserably.


	2. Chapter 2

#  Chapter 2

Fenris was frightened. He did his best not to show it though. His new master was already displeased with him so he tried to push it aside and remember everything he’d been taught. Never look your master in the eye, walk behind him, follow your orders quickly and to the letter and never speak until spoken to. So he sat with his gaze to the floor, sneaking glances up at them through the fringe of hair that hung in his face, and he listened.

“Anders,” Magistar Hawke said slowly. “Are you sure?”

“Look at him!” Master exclaimed.

Fenris quickly shifted his eyes back to the floor. He could feel Magistar Hawke staring at him. Why would his new master make such an offer? Was Master that unhappy with his poor behavior? He hoped not. Fenris wasn’t sure how he’d gotten here or even where here was but he did know that most magistars would not have carried him or given him a blanket. He’d have been left or sacrificed after whatever he’d done wrong. 

“Are you sure there’s nothing broken in his head?” Magistar Hawke asked desperately. 

“Are you trying to insult me?” Master said irritably. “I’m the best healer in Kirkwall and you know it. Physically there’s nothing wrong.”

What luck! His new master is a healer! Healers don’t use blood magic and are very rare in Tevinter. Master must be a powerful man. Fenris would have to double his efforts to please him. And now he at least knew where he was.

“Sorry,” Magistar Hawke said. To Fenris he sounded frustrated, not sorry. “We have to take him back to the mansion. If we can figure out what happened we might be able to fix it.”

Fix? Was there something wrong with him? Fenris felt just fine other than being scared and ashamed of his awful behavior. And cold…he couldn’t hide the violent shiver that ran through him. Fenris pulled the blanket tighter around him. 

“Fenris,” Master said. He sounded concerned. “Are you cold?”

“Yes Master,” Fenris said. He winced and tensed for a blow. Master had told him not to call him that but…what was he supposed to call him?

“Andraste’s knickers,” Master muttered. “I think I prefer ‘mage’.”

Fenris couldn’t see what Master was doing. “You wish me to call you ‘mage’?” he asked in confusion. Fenris tensed again. He’d spoken out of turn.

“Well, that is what you normally call me. I don’t suppose I could actually get you to say my name for once,” Master said. 

Fenris was horrified at the thought of either suggestion. He shook his head violently. Master appeared in front of him and something was draped across his shoulders. Fenris risked a glance and saw that Master had taken his coat off and put it around him. 

“Didn’t think so,” said Master in a flat voice. “If you must call me master I suppose that’s fine. Just not in public.”

“Yes Master,” Fenris said feeling slightly relieved.

Master pulled his coat tightly around Fenris and he was glad for its warmth. He was lucky to have been sold to such a kind magistar after whatever he’d done wrong. Master stood and turned so Fenris was left staring at his boots. He risked a glance up and saw that Magistar Hawke looked worried and annoyed at the same time. 

“You need to send Bodahn to get him some clothes that fit,” Master said seriously. “How long will it be until Aveline is done with Danarius’s old mansion?”

Fenris shuddered at the mention of his old master. He had not been kind at all.

“I’ve no idea. Probably best to wait until nightfall,” Magistar Hawke said.

“I’m going back to my clinic then,” Master said. 

“What about Fenris?” Magistar Hawke asked. 

“I was hoping I could leave him here. Darktown’s not…” Master began but cut himself off when Fenris crawled around in front of him.

Fenris was now terrified. Master wanted to leave him with Magistar Hawke. Magistars were not always kind to other’s slaves. Sometimes slaves were left with another as punishment. “Please Master!” he pleaded. “Take me with you! I will be good! I promise I will be useful! Please do not leave me!” Fenris sank as low to the floor as he could get.

“Makers breath.” Master said quietly.

“Please Master! I promise to be a good slave!” Fenris pleaded, tears now stinging his tightly closed eyes. 

“I don’t think he likes that idea,” Magistar Hawke smirked. 

“Then you had better get him some clothes,” Master growled.

“Yes Master,” Magistar Hawke said. He sounded like he was mocking Master.

“Don’t think I won’t throw a fireball at you!” Master shouted. Magistar Hawke must have left for Master to shout. Fenris felt a bit relieved.

Master knelt beside him on the floor and began tugging him up. Fenris sat up quickly and swiped at the tears rolling down his cheeks. He felt ashamed at yet another outburst. Master then pulled Fenris into a hug and rubbed his back in little circles. Fenris didn’t quite know what to do or say so he let Master comfort him.

“Shh,” Master said soothingly. “I won’t leave you.”

“Thank you Master,” Fenris whispered.

“There’s no need to be frightened,” Master said quietly. “I promise I won’t hurt you. I won’t let anyone else hurt you either.”

Fenris was relieved to hear Master say those words. He didn’t really understand why Master would promise a slave anything but he was glad to hear it. Fenris pulled away and rearranged the blanket so he was completely covered.

“I’m sorry Master,” Fenris said miserably.

“Fenris look at me please,” Master said as he pulled the coat tightly around him again.

That was not supposed to happen. But Master said please so Fenris dared to look up at his new master. His warm brown eyes that lit up when he smiled at Fenris was the first thing that struck him. If Master was smiling he must not be too mad at him. 

“What are you sorry for?” he asked Fenris.

“I should not have spoken,” Fenris said sadly as he looked back down at his knees.

“Ah-ah, eyes up!” Master said firmly. Only after Fenris was once again looking at his face did he continue speaking. “Don’t be afraid to speak. You won’t be in any trouble.”

Fenris couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Master was asking him to do two things his mother had told him to never do. This man was strange indeed. He wasn’t sure that he could do what his Master wanted, but he would try.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Justice is in bold.

Anders watched the boy Fenris had become closely. It was surprising to Anders but he realized it was actually hard to see the proud, independent elf reduced to groveling. He didn’t want Fenris to kill him if…when they fixed whatever went wrong so he decided that this slave business had to go. It was hard to talk to Fenris when he wouldn’t even look at him and all the flinching, the ‘I’m sorry’ and being called ‘Master’ were all starting to get on his nerves. 

He sat quietly and waited for Fenris to work up the nerve to answer him. His patience was rewarded when Fenris finally said, “Yes Master. I…I will try.”

Anders ignored the indignation and the feeling of ‘not right’ he felt from Justice at his acceptance of the term ‘Master’ and smiled at Fenris. “Let’s scoot a little closer to the fire. I want to ask you some questions while we wait for Hawke.”

“Yes Master,” Fenris said. The look of gratitude on his face was so out of place for the normally broody elf that Anders forced himself to keep smiling.

Fenris crawled closer to the fire and Anders was struck by how vulnerable he looked wrapped in a blanket and practically swimming in Anders’ coat. Knowing that adult Fenris would not appreciate that thought, he pushed it out of his head and sat cross legged next to him in front of the hearth. 

“It’s very important that you answer me honestly. I won’t be angry and you won’t be in trouble but I need to find out just how much you remember.”

“Yes Master,” Fenris said.

That’s going to get old fast, he thought as he pushed away the indignation again. “Where were you before you woke up here?” he asked trying to inject kindness into his words.

“Minrathous Master, with my mother and sister at Master Danarius’s estate,” said Fenris.

Anders suddenly found himself in a fight for control with Justice. He squeezed his eyes shut and leaned forward as he pressed his hands to his temples. He felt a tentative hand on his shoulder and jerked away. He didn’t really want to know how all that lyrium in Fenris’ skin would react to Justice or how Justice would react to all the lyrium.

“Don’t touch me!” he gasped out, dismayed that his voice was a touch deeper. 

He doubled his efforts and shoved Justice to the back of his mind. He mentally growled at the spirit, what do you think you’re doing

**The elf is not a slave. It is unjust to let him keep thinking that he is.**

Back off!!! You don’t understand what’s going on here and all you’re going to do is frighten him to death!

Anders could feel the spirits disapproval in waves but Justice retreated entirely and he dared to open his eyes. Fenris had backed away from him and was lying on the floor again, whimpering. He scooted over and lifted the boy back into a sitting position.

“I’m sorry Master,” Fenris burst out miserably. “I only wanted to help!”

“Please stop saying you’re sorry for everything,” Anders sighed, knowing it was a lost cause at the moment. “It’s not your fault. Sometimes I have…fits.” Anders put an arm around Fenris’ slim shoulders. “It’s best if you don’t touch me when it happens.”

Fenris hesitantly looked up at him and Anders smiled warmly. He could tell that Fenris was struggling to speak so he gave a gentle squeeze hoping to encourage him. Fenris swallowed and finally said, “You are…okay?”

“I’m fine I promise,” Anders answered. After he felt some of the tension leave Fenris he added, “Please don’t call Danarius ‘master’. You are not his slave anymore.”

“Of course Master, I’m sorry to have offended you,” Fenris said as he looked back down at his knees. 

Anders put a finger under his chin and lifted until Fenris had to look at him. “Technically, I’m not your master either. You’re free Fenris.”

Panic clouded Fenris’ eyes and he said, “No, please! I am your slave! Please…”

“Shhh,” Anders said silencing his protests. He pulled Fenris close to him and rubbed his back. Anders hadn’t expected this reaction from Fenris. As an adult Fenris was so protective of his freedom, it had never occurred to him that there might have been a time in his life that he didn’t want to be free. “I won’t abandon you.”

“Thank you Master,” Fenris said through hiccups.

Anders held in a sigh and patted him on the back. He waited until Fenris seemed calmer and pushed him away slightly to look at him. “Are you ready to answer some more questions?” he asked with a smile.

“Yes Master,” said Fenris as he brushed away tears.

“Do you remember anything about these?” Anders asked taking one of Fenris’ hands and pointing to the lyrium markings.

“No Master,” Fenris said. He looked like he wanted to say more but shook his head slightly and stayed silent. 

Internally, Anders groaned. Fenris was the only one, besides Danarius, that knew how those things worked. He was spared from further contemplation of potential disaster by Hawke walking into the room. He threw a bundle of cloth at Anders and smirked. 

Anders caught the bundle and handed it to Fenris. “You put these on and I’ll be right outside speaking with Hawke,” he said. 

“Yes Master. Do you wish me to join you when I’m finished?”

“Yes. Then we can go back to my clinic,” Anders said as he stood.

He turned and shot a glare at Hawke and mouthed, outside now. Hawke sucked in a breath to say something but Anders cut him off. “Not a word,” he growled.

Hawke bowed mockingly and left the room. Anders caught up with him quickly just outside the library and hissed, “He doesn’t remember the markings!”

The smirk still on his face turned quickly into a frown. “That’s…not good.”


	4. Chapter 4

After a moment Hawke asked, “What does he remember?”

“Being in Danarius’s household with his mother and sister,” Anders replied crossing his arms over his chest. “He thinks Danarius sold him to me.”

“Fenris has a sister?” Hawke said curiously.

Anders groaned. “Focus Hawke, the ritual wiped his memory. Adult Fenris doesn’t know about his past. What if he does that fisty thing to someone on accident?”

“We’ll have to keep him calm and out of sight. Which means you’re definitely stuck with him,” Hawke said.

“I know,” Anders said quietly. “I told him that he was free a little bit ago and he became very upset.”

Hawke’s frown deepened as he shook his head. Neither of them had a chance to say anything more as Fenris tentatively stepped out the library door. Wearing the clothes that Hawke had brought, he would have fit in perfectly in the alienage. He held the blanket, which was neatly folded with Anders’ coat also neatly folded sitting on top of it.

“Thank you Master,” he said as he held the bundle out to Anders. 

Anders plucked his coat off the top and shrugged into it, quickly fastening the buckles and rearranging the feathers. “The blanket is yours Fenris,” he said. “You’ll want to bring it with. It can get cold in Darktown at night.”

“Mine…Master?” Fenris said in awe. “Thank you!”

“Hold on,” Hawke said and dashed off.

Fenris hugged the blanket and stood behind and slightly off to the side of Anders. Anders thought it was sort of sad that telling him that he owned a blanket would make him so happy, especially when the thing had been his to start with. He motioned Fenris forward. 

“Beside me, remember,” Anders said.

“Master,” Fenris said hesitantly. “You said until we reached Magistar Hawke’s.”

Anders snorted back laughter. “Hawke is not a magistar,” he said with a grin.

“But…he is a mage,” Fenris said in confusion. “Why wouldn’t he be a magistar?”

“We’re in the Free Marches, Fenris, not Tevinter,” he explained patiently. “Hawke and I both are from Ferelden. We’re apostates, not magistars. And please, walk beside me all the time.”

Fenris stepped up beside him. Anders smiled when he glanced up. “What…,” Fenris began. He paused and took a deep breath. “What should I call him?”

“Hawke,” said the man himself as he took the stairs down to them two at a time. “It’s what you usually call me.” Hawke turned to Anders and tossed a key at him. “Took me a while to find it.”

A puzzled expression crossed Fenris’ face but was replaced quickly with what Anders was beginning to think of as his ‘slave’ face, carefully neutral. It was a little disheartening to see but Anders considered every question Fenris asked as a small victory. He caught the key easily and turned it over in his hands.

“What’s this to?” he asked.

“The cellars,” Hawke replied. “Remember when we cleared the slavers out with Carver and Varric right after we met you?”

“Oh, that’s right,” Anders said after a moment. “Your cellar door is close to my clinic.”

“You can use the cellar entrance when you need to get to Hightown with Fenris.”

“Thank you Hawke. When do you want us to come back?”

“Sunset,” Hawke said clapping him on the shoulder. “I’m going to talk to the others. See you then!”

Anders watched him go and turned to the cellars with Fenris staying close to his side. They made their way down and through the cellars to the door that led out into Darktown. Anders cracked the door and peeked out. Finding no one around, he stepped out with Fenris still staying close. He turned and locked the door and put the key in a pocket, then walked the few feet to his clinic doors. Sending a tiny fireball to light the dark lamp, he unlocked the door. Fenris followed him in but stopped and looked around in shocked dismay.

“Not quite what you were expecting?” he asked. Anders looked around at the cots and the tables in various states of disrepair. Crates stacked anywhere there was room filled with supplies and a little corner he’d sectioned off in the back that was his room. In that moment he felt a bit sorry for the child Fenris had become. He’d probably been expecting something far better. 

Fenris looked at his feet immediately and said, “I’m sorry Master. I meant no disrespect.”

“Look at me Fenris,” Anders said quietly. He waited patiently for Fenris to gather his courage and look up at him before he continued speaking. “I’m not offended. It’s not much, but its home. And it’s a lot better than sleeping under bushes alongside the road.”

“Yes Master,” Fenris said. 

He took a few more steps inside and continued to look around as Anders moved to the back. There were lines strung across the room with blankets and bandages that he had washed that morning before going to the market. The bandages were dry but the blankets weren’t. While he folded the bandages Fenris walked up beside him, still clutching the blanket, and watched him. 

“Master,” he said hesitantly. “What should I do?”

“Uh, well first you can go put your blanket over there,” Anders said as he pointed to his little curtained off area. 

“Yes Master,” said Fenris. As he moved off to do as he was told Anders thought frantically. He had wanted to come back to the clinic because he could be healing people who needed help instead of sitting around doing nothing. Since Anders hadn’t planned on bringing Fenris with him, he didn’t know what to do with him that adult Fenris probably wouldn’t kill him for later. There was always some sort of cleaning that needed to be done but that was menial slave work that Anders was sure would get him maimed at the very least. Fenris walked up and stood beside him, waiting patiently for orders.

He looked down at Fenris and saw the half folded bandage in his hands. “Ah!” he exclaimed. “Let me show you how to fold these.”

Anders shook out the bandage he held and Fenris watched intently as he folded it into a neat square. He pulled another down from the lines and handed it to Fenris, who folded it perfectly. A woman walked in cradling a screaming child just then and he started towards her but stopped.

“Stack them here when you’re finished okay,” Anders said.

Fenris looked up and smiled at him as he said “Yes Master,” quietly.

Pausing for only a moment to marvel at how the smile lit up his whole face, Anders shook himself and hurried over to the woman. He soon lost himself in his work as more people came in, a small but steady stream of people. Anders didn’t think of Fenris again until an elf woman asked him about Fenris.

“Who’s the elf boy?” she said curiously.

Looking over his shoulder briefly, he saw that Fenris had finished with the bandages and had moved on to folding the blankets. “I’m watching him for a friend,” Anders said smiling at the woman. He went back to cleaning the slash across her forearm. She said nothing else but offered him coin when he finished.

He shook his head and said, “No thanks, keep it.”

After thanking him she walked out the door and the clinic was empty once more. Anders sighed deeply as he sat heavily on the nearest cot. He rubbed his eyes and when he opened them again Fenris was standing in front of him with a glass of water. 

“Thank you Fenris,” he said taking the glass and patting the space next to him on the cot.

Fenris hesitated for a moment but sat on the cot next to Anders. Looking at him while he drank the water, Anders wondered if Fenris had drunk any. He looked like he was struggling to speak so Anders waited.

Eventually Fenris gathered his courage and asked, “Do you always refuse payment Master?”

“Mostly,” replied Anders. “They need it more than I do.” After a moment he added, “Have you had anything to drink Fenris?”

“No Master,” Fenris said.

Anders frowned. “Is this some weird slave thing in Tevinter?” he asked. Fenris’ gazing at his hands was really all the answer Anders needed. He shook his head and muttered, “That’s sick.” Anders stood and walked to the water pump at the very back of the clinic. Fenris moved to get up but Anders motioned him to stay put.

He filled the glass and walked back to Fenris. “If you’re thirsty drink, if you’re hungry eat and the facilities are over there,” Anders said holding the glass out with one hand and pointing to the far corner of the clinic with the other. “All I ask is that you don’t leave the clinic without me. Darktown can be dangerous.”

“Ye…yes Master,” Fenris stuttered. He looked up at Anders with wonder filling every part of his face. Fenris took the glass from him and drained it in a few gulps.

Getting a look at the nasty side of Tevinter was certainly not what he expected from this little adventure. From what he gleaned from Fenris, it wasn’t quite living up to the idea he and every other mage stuck in the Circle had of the place. He had never really believed that it could possibly be as bad as adult Fenris made it out to be, but seeing Fenris as he was now was a bit sobering.

Anders sat back down on the cot and shook his head again. The only word he could think of for Fenris now was cowed. There was none of the spirited, reckless, opinionated, irritating elf he knew in this boy. He became more determined to show Fenris that all mages were not like that.


	5. Chapter 5

“Are you hungry?” Anders asked. “Lunch was ages ago.”

“Yes Master. I am,” said Fenris.

“We got here just in time then,” Isabela said from the doorway.

Anders stood and walked forward as Isabela sauntered in followed closely by Merrill. “Fenris, this is Isabela and Merrill. They’re friends,” said Anders as he pointed to them. Fenris nodded politely as he stood. He stopped and hesitated until Anders waved him forward.

“Isn’t he just adorable,” Isabela said her eyes twinkling.

“We brought you some food,” Merrill said holding out a cloth covered basket to him.

He took the basket and peeked under the cloth. There was a variety of fresh fruit, a loaf of bread and some muffins. Anders handed the basket to Fenris after getting his attention. He had been staring at Merrill.

“Do I have something on my face?” she asked anxiously.

“No, I’m sorry. I was looking at your tattoos,” Fenris said sheepishly. “I meant no offence.”

Isabela and Merrill exchanged a look. “Are you sure this is Fenris?” Merrill asked. “He looks like Fenris…only smaller. But he’s much too polite to be Fenris.”

Anders sighed. “Yes I’m sure. Didn’t Hawke explain?”

“He said that Fenris had been turned into a kid and to meet at his mansion at sunset,” Isabela said. “He might have skipped a few details though.”

He really didn’t want to tell either of them that Fenris thought he was his master. Isabela’s teasing would be unbearable. Realizing that she would find out sooner or later, he sighed again. Probably in the next few minutes when Fenris would surely call him master again.

“He thinks I’m his master,” Anders muttered.

“Oh,” said Merrill putting a hand to her heart. “That’s…”

“Delicious!” Isabela interrupted gleefully. A grin spread across her face. “I’ll bet that old stick in the mud just loves that!”

“I was going to say terrible. I don’t really think there would be anything delicious about Fenris,” Merrill said flatly. She crossed one arm under her bosom and tapped her chin with the other. “That didn’t sound quite right.”

Anders wasn’t sure whether he wanted to glare at Isabela or roll his eyes at Merrill. At least Isabela hadn’t mentioned Justice by name. He glanced at Fenris and saw that confused look on his face again. Turning back to Isabela, he settled for the glare.

“No, Isabela, the stick in the mud is not happy about it at all and neither am I,” he said. “I would appreciate it if you didn’t mention him again.”

“Of course,” Isabela smirked.

“Who aren’t we supposed to mention?” Merrill asked in confusion.

“I’ll tell you later kitten,” Isabela said. “For now I think we had better let Master Anders and his little slave eat.”

“I guess we’ll see you later,” Merrill said brightly as Isabela tugged her toward the door.

Anders glared at their retreating figures. He often wondered why Hawke was infatuated with Merrill. The poor girl was clueless about many things and obsessed about that stupid mirror. Shaking his head he turned back to Fenris. Confusion had been replaced by abject sorrow. Dear Maker what have I said this time, he thought in exasperation.

“Is something wrong Fenris?” he asked.

Fenris swallowed hard and looked up at him. “You are not happy with me Master?” he asked.

“Andraste’s flaming knickers,” Anders muttered. He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “Fenris, I’ve already told you that I’m not really your master. You’ve done nothing to make me unhappy.” 

Fenris didn’t look convinced. His large, sad, green eyes had that ‘you kicked my puppy’ look. “Please Master, I want to be a good slave,” Fenris pleaded.

“You know what would make me happy?” Anders asked trying to sound cheerful. “If we sat down and ate some of this food Isabela and Merrill brought.”

It felt odd to be relieved at the confused look returning but it was much better than that sad look. Anders really didn’t know how to convince him that he wasn’t unhappy with Fenris but was unhappy with the situation. The slavery was the biggest thing that had kept him out of Tevinter in the first place. He’d never wanted to be anyone’s master but his own.

Anders sat on the nearest cot and patted the thin mattress next to him. It made him sad when Fenris hesitated a moment but he did sit next to him. He plucked the cloth off of the basket in Fenris’ lap and pulled an apple out of it. Fenris didn’t grab anything however. He sat motionless, staring at the contents.

“Go ahead,” encouraged Anders.

“Master,” Fenris said looking up at him briefly. “How…how did…you…acquire me?”

He bit into the apple and thought. “I didn’t acquire you,” he said carefully after swallowing. “You’re free Fenris, like I told you before.”

Anders watched Fenris carefully as he put the basket to the side and tentatively took a muffin. He glanced up at Anders and cringed away at the same time. As he nodded in what he hoped was an encouraging way, he wondered just what Fenris had lived through as a child that made him so fearful.

Fenris relaxed a bit and took a bite of the muffin. “Did I escape?” he asked after a pause.

“Yes, but you’ve never told me how. You might have told Hawke.”

“Why?” Fenris asked looking up at him.

The horrified look on his face confused Anders. He couldn’t imagine Fenris actually not wanting to be free. It made him sad and he felt angry at the same time. Angry that anyone could believe slavery was okay. Anders wasn’t sure if the anger was his or if it was Justice’s influence. When they agreed the line between them blurred. In the end it didn’t really matter because slavery, in any form, was wrong.

He was spared from actually having to answer right then by a young man stumbling into the clinic. There was blood all over his pants and he clutched his side. Anders jumped up and set his half-eaten apple down on the nearest surface and hurried over to the young man. Supporting him to the nearest cot, Anders lay him gently down on his back. The young man groaned in pain.

There were no questions asked. Anders simply pulled up his shirt to examine the wound. Around an inch long and deep, he began healing the young man from the inside out. Gradually his pained groans grew quieter. Anders had been so focused on the young man that he didn’t notice Fenris standing near him. He had a basin filled with water and there were clean rags sitting in the water. After Anders was satisfied that he’d put the young man’s insides back together properly, it was a matter of minutes to knit the muscle and skin together. He turned and yelped when he saw Fenris. Startled only for a moment he smiled at Fenris and wrung out one of the rags and washed the blood away to inspect his work.

“Thank you healer,” the young man said gratefully.

“I won’t ask how this happened, but I will say be careful,” he said. “There’s not much I can do about your clothes but you’ll be fine.”

The young man sat up and said, “I’m sorry but I have nothing to give you.”

“That’s all right,” Anders said kindly.

“Thank you,” the young man said again as he stood and left.

Anders turned to Fenris and said, “Thank you Fenris. You’ve been watching me haven’t you?”

“Yes Master,” Fenris said shyly not quite looking at Anders.

“Why don’t you take care of that and then we can finish eating,” Anders said.

Fenris looked up and smiled. “Yes Master.”

He trotted off and Anders watched him. It was such a simple thing, but Fenris looked pleased. Here was the answer to one of his problems. This Fenris needed to be useful so Anders would let him help. He could be taught basic non-magical healing techniques and help Anders in the clinic to be useful. Best of all, when Fenris was back to normal, he wouldn’t kill Anders for taking advantage of him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a bit of violence in this chapter but it's not very graphic. I'm horrible at describing battles and tend to skim over them.

Fenris spent the next few hours listening to Master and learning things. He was happy Master had decided that he could be useful, so he listened carefully. Master said they would start with simple things for now, that they would get into harder things later. First Master showed him where everything went, how the seemingly disorganized crates of supplies were actually organized. Fenris was surprised at how many things a healer actually needed. There were the bandages he’d folded earlier, slings, extra bedding for the cots, needles and thread, cleaning supplies for the clinic, and more potions than Fenris knew existed.

“Have I confused you yet?” Master asked smiling.

“There’s so many things, Master,” Fenris said feeling a bit overwhelmed.

“Don’t worry, you’ll remember. But that’s it for now,” said Master. “We need to get going.”

“To meet…Hawke?” he asked.

“That’s right,” said Master as he walked to the front of the clinic.

Fenris followed him closely, wondering how Master knew what time it was. He couldn’t tell. The light hadn’t changed at all. Master put the lamp out and locked the doors of the clinic. They went to the door that led up into Hawke’s estate and were soon climbing stairs. When they reached the foyer there were two dwarves there that Fenris hadn’t noticed before. One had an air of simplicity about him as he watched Master and Fenris. The other walked up to Master.

“Ah, Messere Anders!” he cried in a jovial voice. “Messere Hawke said that I should expect you. He said that you should go ahead to the mansion.”

“Is Hawke already there Bodahn?” Master asked.

“Yes. He and Guard Captain Aveline left some time ago,” answered Bodahn.

“Thank you Bodahn,” said Master. “Come on Fenris.” He bent slightly and whispered in Fenris’ ear. “Remember don’t call me ‘master’ in public.”

Fenris nodded and said, “Yes…” Not quite knowing what to say instead of ‘Master’ Fenris used the unfamiliar word the dwarf, Bodahn, did. “Messere.”

He was pleased to see Master smile and Fenris followed him out the front door and moved quickly back to Master’s side. It felt strange not to walk behind him but Master had wanted him beside and it wouldn’t do to be disobedient now.

The sun was all the way down and the sky to the west was painted a brilliant orange. The eastern sky was dark and a few stars were trying to peek through the remaining light. As they walked, Fenris stole glances at his surroundings. The bigger stone buildings sort of reminded him of home. Things were neat and orderly with an aristocratic air about the place that was hard to miss. He wondered why Master didn’t live up here.

They passed through an archway and Fenris stared up at the large building in front of them. He thought it was the Chantry judging from the large statues that sat to either side of the grand doors. Master had stopped in front of the archway to glare up at the building and Fenris had only a moment to wonder why when a group of bandits rushed at them.

Master stepped forward, in front of Fenris, taking his staff from his back. A fireball flew at the group of women as Fenris ran to crouch beside some nearby crates. Fenris watched as flame enveloped them. Master looked around and stepped to the side in front of Fenris once again. With a yell, he swept his staff in an arc and jagged chunks of deadly ice erupted from the ground to impale the closest bandits. A green glyph appeared under three more of the bandits and they were paralyzed, frozen in the act of running forward.

Fenris watched as an arrow sprouted from the neck of one of the paralyzed bandits and a strange short arrow from the neck of another. He heard a woman’s laughter and an unfamiliar voice called out, “Another one for the dwarf!”

He followed the sound of the voice and saw Isabela, the dark skinned woman he’d met earlier, running forward with her daggers in hand. Behind her was Merrill, the elf with the tattoos, and standing next to her was a blonde dwarf. He held a crossbow that he fired as quickly as he could with deadly accuracy. Merrill had her staff in hand and began casting spells. The courtyard became a confused mass of bodies and magic.

Things were yelled, death screams called out but the bandits seemed endless. As he watched the battle he marveled at how powerful his Master was. He might have been more frightened of his Master if he hadn’t already known how kind Master was to him. Master was not so kind to his enemies.

The last bandit fell with an arrow protruding from her back and the courtyard was suddenly silent. Master turned to Fenris and crouched down next to him, resting the staff across his knees.

“Are you all right?” Master asked.

“Yes,” Fenris said gratefully. “I’m fine. Thank you Ma…Messere.”

Master stood and turned back around, strapping the staff back in place as he turned. Merrill and the dwarf were jogging this way. Fenris stood and moved to his Master’s side and he saw a man descending the steps of the Chantry with a bow held in his hands. He had the shiniest armor Fenris had ever seen and was also headed this way. Isabela was going through the pockets of the dead bandits.

Merrill and the dwarf reached them first. “Looks like we got here just in time,” the dwarf said. “You and Broody all right?”

“Yes, thanks Varric,” said Master. “Hawke will be thrilled that there’s another gang to take care of.”

The dwarf looked at Fenris and said, “I’ll introduce myself since I’m told you don’t remember. Varric Tethras.”

Fenris nodded politely but said nothing. He though it strange that all of Master’s friends seemed to know him but he didn’t know them. They all turned to the other man as he walked up to them. He watched the man but noticed Master tensed at his arrival.

“Thanks for the help Choir Boy but what brings you out at this time of night?” Varric said tersely.

“A message that Hawke left for me while I was with the orphans,” he said in a thick accent. He turned to Fenris and asked, “Is he really Fenris?”

“You’re the third person that’s asked that,” Master said. He was clearly irritated. “Don’t the markings make it a little obvious?”

The man frowned at Master then turned back to Varric. “What happened to him?” he asked.

“Isn’t that what were going to find out?” Merrill asked.

“It is kitten,” Isabela said as she walked up to them. She slung an arm around the man’s shoulders. “Has no one told Sebastian the best part?”

“The best part?” Sebastian asked looking over at her. He shrugged her arm off and took a little step to the side away from her.

“Isabela,” Master growled at her. “I think we had better move on before their friends decide on vengeance.” He gestured toward the bodies that littered the courtyard.

“He’s going to find out sooner or later,” Isabela said. “Best to get the unpleasantness done now.”

“Not. Here,” Master said through clenched teeth.

“What’s going on here?” Sebastian asked suspiciously.

“Blondie’s right on this one. We need to get moving any way before Hawke sends out a search party,” Varric said. “After you Choir Boy.” Varric gestured to a set of stairs leading up.

Sebastian looked around at them then walked off in the direction Varric pointed to. Isabela walked on one side and Merrill walked on the other. They began speaking to each other in hushed voices. Master was glaring at Sebastian as he followed. Fenris stayed by his side and Varric walked on Fenris’ other side.

There were many things Fenris wanted to ask. Why they knew him but he didn’t know them, why Master didn’t like Sebastian or the Chantry, he wanted to know what was wrong with him. They all spoke like Fenris needed to be fixed but he felt just fine. Other than the strange tattoos all over him and his hair suddenly becoming white, Fenris didn’t think anything was wrong. It was all very confusing.

Master had told him not to be afraid to speak but what he wanted to know the most was what had possessed him to escape, but he didn’t dare ask again. What if it had something to do with his old master? Master had gotten very upset when he mentioned his former master. Was it a punishment of some sort? Did it really matter? A slave’s life was simple, follow orders or be punished. Freedom was frightening, unknown and dangerous.

There were many things that can happen to disobedient slaves but here, with his new Master, Fenris didn’t think he had to worry about most of them. He didn’t have any plans on being disobedient again at any rate. Fenris would learn his Master’s rules, he would be a good slave and Master would hopefully keep him.

“Something wrong Fenris?” Master asked in concern.

Fenris looked up at his Master and tried to smile. “No Messere,” he said. How lucky was he to have been sold or found or whatever it had been, by a kind Master that cared about his slave. Very lucky, he thought.


	7. Chapter 7

“Fenris brooding is nothing new Blondie,” said Varric.

“Since we found him this morning it is,” Anders said.

Varric looked up at him and arched an eyebrow. “Raviani wasn’t exaggerating?”

“No,” he said. “I’m a little worried about what that Chantry brat will do.” Anders watched the three people ahead, Sebastian in particular. He didn’t know the lost Prince of Starkhaven very well but what little he’d been around him, Anders didn’t like at all. He seemed like just another pious zealot who turned a blind eye to the barbaric practices of the Templars. Who knew what he’d think of this slave business.

“Don’t worry about him,” Varric soothed. “Hawke will set him straight.”

“I hope so,” Anders murmured. It would be better if they could just figure out what had happened and fix it. Anders didn’t think he would be that lucky, however.

They were silent for the remainder of the short walk. Anders glanced at Fenris every few steps but he’d put his slave face on. There was nothing he could do unless Fenris actually wanted to talk about what had been bothering him so Anders tried to put his slight worry to the side.

Ahead of him, Isabela, Merrill and Sebastian entered Fenris’ decrepit mansion and they followed and Varric shut the door behind him. It looked pretty much the same as it had this morning only without the smoke. He glanced at Fenris and covered his mouth to hide the smirk he couldn’t stop. Fenris looked appalled.

“Master,” Fenris said hesitantly. “Why…”

“Master?” Sebastian interrupted hotly. “Fenris is _not_ a slave.”

The smirk turned to a scowl and Anders folded his arms across his chest. “Didn’t your mother ever teach you it’s impolite to interrupt?” he said as calmly as he could.

Hawke chose that exact moment to emerge from a room further into the mansion. Aveline leaned in the doorway. Anders stayed where he was so Fenris did too. Isabela, Merrill and Varric joined Aveline near the doorway and Sebastian turned to Hawke.

“No, Sebastian, Fenris isn’t a slave,” Hawke said calmly before anything else was said. “And it really is rude to interrupt.”

“Why did he call Anders ‘Master’ then?” Sebastian asked in a calmer voice than before.

“You can ask him you know,” Hawke said. “He’s standing right there.”

Sebastian frowned at Hawke. “Please Hawke,” he said.

“He doesn’t remember his adult life,” Hawke explained patiently. “Fenris thinks he’s still a slave.”

“And you let him continue to believe this?” Sebastian said turning his horrified gaze to Anders. “You can’t possibly know what’s best for him.”

“Do you really think I’d let him believe he’s a slave?” Anders said angrily. “I’ve told him he’s free and just what are you implying?”

“It will be too easy for you to harm him…”

Anders stopped listening as blood pounded in his ears. He felt great waves of anger from Justice. His own hurt feelings that anyone could think him capable of harming a child in any way turned his stomach. He was a healer for the Maker’s sake! The very thing that he defined himself by was healing.

“Please! Stop!” Fenris burst out suddenly.

Silence descended and every eye was turned on Fenris. He took a step backwards and looked at the floor, ashamed of his outburst. Anders glared at Sebastian before stepping in front of Fenris, blocking his view of Sebastian and Hawke.

“Fenris look at me please,” he said quietly. Patiently Anders waited for Fenris to look up at him. Shame and guilt danced in his eyes but behind them, there was fear. “You have something to say?”

“Yes Master,” Fenris said quietly.

“You remember my promise? That I wouldn’t hurt you or let anyone else hurt you?”

“Yes Master,” he said with a bit more confidence.

“Then don’t be afraid,” Anders said and smiled at him. “Say what you want.” Anders turned back around and stepped to the side.

Fenris took a small step forward and looked up at Sebastian. “If I am free…” he said, his voice shaking. Fenris swallowed hard before he continued. “Then I choose who I am?”

“Well…yes,” Sebastian said hesitantly.

“Then I choose to be Master’s slave,” said Fenris defiantly.

Anders took a small moment to be proud of Fenris. His words were cringe worthy and likely meant more trouble for him but there was a hint of the man Fenris had been yesterday. The look on his face dared Sebastian to take away his choice. Even his stance, one foot slightly forward, arms held away from his body, leaning forward just a bit, hinted at the warrior Fenris truly was. The simple fact that Fenris had said it at all was a giant leap forward.

Sebastian had been struck speechless. He looked up and frowned at Anders. Hawke clapped his hands together and then rubbed them like he was washing. “Now that that’s settled,” he said cheerfully. “Let’s get back to business. This way if you please gentleman.” Hawke gestured to the doorway everyone else was huddled in.

“I will be watching,” Sebastian said before turning and walking away.

“Like you weren’t already,” Anders muttered.

Everyone gathered into the room. Anders looked around and found that this room was a bigger mess than the entryway. It looked like it had been a store room in its past life. Crates were scattered around broken open and spilling their contents every which way. It was hard to walk without stepping on something.

Hawke and Aveline made their way to the only open spot on the floor. “We found him here,” Hawke said. “The smoke was coming from in here too. Isabela, Varric and Sebastian, I want you to search this room for traps. Maker only knows how we missed any the first time around. The rest of you over here.”

Isabela grumbled but they began moving things around. Anders stood in a circle with Hawke, Merrill and Aveline. Fenris stayed by his side but after everything that happened in the other room his slave face was fixed firmly in place.

“Anders, is there anything you might know about this from your time in the circle?” Hawke asked.

He thought carefully before replying. “I don’t remember ever reading or hearing about anything making someone younger.”

Hawke nodded and turned to Merrill. “Merrill, any Dalish insights?”

“No Hawke. I’m sorry but I didn’t think it was possible to become a child again,” she said apologetically. “We could ask the Keeper.”

He nodded again. They stared at the open spot on the floor. Anders noticed it was about the size Fenris had been as an adult. If he’d changed here, then…

“Where are his clothes?” Anders asked curiously. “He was only wrapped in a blanket when I carried him out.”

“Upstairs folded neatly on his bed,” Aveline said. “His sword is there too.”

“Along with a few empty bottles of wine,” Hawke added.

“What was he walking around his house naked for?” Merrill wondered aloud.

“Choreographing routines?” Varric offered from one side of the room.

“I’d pay a sovereign to see that,” Isabela offered from the other side.

Hawke grinned and rolled his eyes. “He was probably drunk, Merrill,” he said with fond patience.

“Hawke, I found something here,” Sebastian said.

Varric and Isabela converged at the back of the room with him. The rest of them watched as they spoke quietly among themselves before clearing out some of the mess around them. Slowly they worked their way towards Hawke. A few feet from the back of the room where Sebastian had been kneeling Isabela cleared the floor.

“Here,” she said turning to Sebastian.

“Here too,” Varric said a short distance away from Isabela.

“Well?” Aveline said impatiently.

“Pressure plates,” Isabela said. “They’ve all been triggered recently.”

“How can you tell that?” Merrill asked curiously.

Isabela winked at her and said, “Trade secrets, kitten.”

“Any clue what they did?” Hawke asked. He absently patted Merrill’s shoulder when she made a disappointed noise.

“This one looks like a fire jet but…,” Sebastian paused thinking. “Why would the other traps be in line with it?”

“Maybe it was supposed to smoke. Hawke and I never did find a fire,” Aveline said.

Hawke walked to the back of the room. “So, Fenris is wandering around doing…whatever…and he sets this one off. Gets a face full of smoke…” Hawke stepped to Isabela. “Then sets this one off…” He stepped to Varric. “Then sets this one off, but what did these two do?”

Silence fell as everyone thought. Anders glanced down at Fenris and frowned. They were all speaking about him like he wasn’t there. This whole day couldn’t have been very easy for him, full of emotion and confusion. Suddenly he wanted nothing more than to take Fenris back to his clinic. Maybe spare him the indignity of being spoken about but not spoken to.

“Could they have been enchanted?” Hawke asked thoughtfully. “Whatever did this was probably magical.”

“Why not?” Varric said. “Look at what Bodahn’s boy did to those darkspawn with an enchantment.”

An idea struck Anders and he stepped forward. Fenris followed him and there was finally a crack in his mask as he watched Anders curiously. A curiosity that everyone else shared it seemed as they all watched.

“Fenris is only a little shorter than I am right?” Anders asked looking up at Hawke.

“I think so,” Hawke said in confusion. “Care to share your insights?”

Instead of answering Anders put one foot on the corner of Varric’s plate. He then placed his other foot on the corner of Isabela’s plate. It was just short of a perfect stride. Anders looked up at the wall a short few feet away and Sebastian arched an eyebrow at him. “Where’s the jet?” Anders asked.

He tapped the metal tube with his finger. It was just below his shoulders. Anders nodded and took another step forward. His foot rested on the plate that triggered the jet. Sighing, he slowly he turned to Fenris. “We might not be able to fix this,” he said, despair lacing his words.

“Why not?” Sebastian asked warily from behind him.

“I think Hawke is right about those other plates,” Anders said half turning to Sebastian. “There’s no way to tell what they were enchanted with that I know of.” Anders paused and took a deep breath. “I also think he set them off at nearly the same time.”

Hawke sucked in a breath. “Creating an unknown spell combination that turned Fenris into a child.”

Anders nodded and scrubbed his face with his hands. “All we can do is wait for it to wear off,” he said quietly.

“What if it doesn’t wear off?” Aveline asked.

Anders really didn’t want to think about that possibility.


	8. Chapter 8

“Would Bodahn’s boy know what these traps did, if they were enchanted?” asked Varric.

“Possible,” said Hawke. “We can still go ask Keeper Marethari too.” After a pause he added “Let’s all just go home and get some sleep for now.”

There were nods of agreement and they all filed out of Fenris’ mansion. Anders avoided looking at anyone. He didn’t really want to know what they thought, so he kept to himself. Going back through Hawke’s cellar, it didn’t take long before Anders and Fenris were back at the clinic. He left the lamp dark and locked the door after them and leaned back against it. Fenris had been very quiet and Anders studied him for a moment after he lit a few candles. He was confused and unhappy.

Fenris looked down at his feet and struggled to speak. “Master,” he said hesitantly. “I…I do not understand.” He looked up at Anders. “I’m…not…thirteen?”

Anders sighed heavily. He should have expected this. “Right now you are,” he said wearily. “The last time I saw you, you were an adult.”

“No,” Fenris said in a shaky voice. “I was in Minrathous with Mother and Varania. I…”

He trailed off and Anders watched a tear slide down his cheek. Anders knelt down in front of him. “Fenris,” he said quietly looking up at him. “Don’t worry about any of that. Let me worry about it.”

“Yes Master,” Fenris said gratefully. He swiped at his cheeks and paused looking at the lyrium embedded into his palms. 

Anders waited for him to ask about them but Fenris shook his head slightly. “Let’s go to bed,” he said. “It’s been a long day.”

“Yes Master,” said Fenris. “Where am I to sleep?”

As he stood Anders pointed to the curtained area at the back. “There, where you put your blanket this morning.”

Fenris nodded and they walked back to it. Anders propped his staff against the wall and began to unbuckle his coat. When it was undone he slid the coat off his shoulders before he looked up and froze. Fenris had taken his blanket and lay on half, wrapped the other half around himself and curled up with his head resting on his arms…but he was on the ground.

“Fenris, why are you on the floor?” he asked in confusion.

“I have always slept on the floor Master,” Fenris said sitting up. “You wish me to sleep elsewhere?”

“Always slept on the floor?” Anders said incredulously. “Dear Maker what’s wrong with those people! Yes, I want you to sleep on the cot. There’s no need to sleep on the floor.”

“Master isn’t this…” Fenris began.

Anders pointed to his cot sitting against the wall, the coat sleeve sliding down to hide his hand. Fenris stopped speaking and quickly moved to the cot. He lay down and wrapped the blanket around himself with trepidation. Anders took the coat off and hung it on a peg beside the cot. He grabbed the little blue pillow sitting at one end of the cot.

“Good night Fenris,” he said as calmly as he could.

He walked slowly out of the curtained area and sat on the nearest cot. Anders set the pillow on the cot and started to unlace his boots. It would be a long time before he would be able to sleep. He would have to calm his raging emotions first, not to mention an irate spirit. The more he learned the less he liked Tevinter.

***

Anders and Fenris spent the next few days at the clinic. He taught Fenris simple things about non-magical healing, the elf learning rapidly. Fenris was soon anticipating things he needed and had them in hand before Anders could ask for them.

Fenris was still very timid and slow to speak but he was much better at actually looking at Anders. He had not asked any more questions about his past and Anders thought it best not to bring it up. Most of the things Fenris did say were questions about what he was being taught. He also found it impossible to keep Fenris from cleaning anything. When there was nothing else to be done Anders would always find him with a bucket of water and a scrub brush attacking the grime on the floor.

There had been daily visits from at least one of his companions. The first day after, Sebastian had showed up with extra clothes for Fenris and another basket of fruit. Sebastian had asked him a lot of insulting questions about Fenris and what he had Fenris doing. Anders thought he did an admirable job of keeping his temper. He knew the Chantry brother was merely concerned for Fenris’ well being, but he still found it insulting.

Aveline had showed up the day after that with Fenris’ armor, sword and a few sandwiches. The armor and sword were stashed in his little area. Anders thought they both looked very out of place among his books. It was a bit surprising but Fenris never asked about them. She didn’t stay long or ask as many questions as Sebastian had and Anders was grateful for that. He wasn’t sure he could keep his temper so admirably two days in a row.

Hawke himself had come the next day, bringing a large pot of stew from his mother. Anders was beginning to wonder if the rest of them thought he starved himself. They obviously had no idea the scope of a Warden’s appetite. Anders regularly didn’t get enough to eat but skipping a meal entirely was just too ghastly an ordeal to put himself through.

He reported that Sandal didn’t know anything about what enchantments the traps held but confirmed that they were enchanted. Tomorrow he would be taking Varric, Aveline and Merrill to the Dalish camp on Sundermount to see Keeper Marethari. Hawke was hopeful that she would know something but Anders had his doubts.

Isabela had been today’s companion. She had brought a plate of cookies. Her teasing had been almost unbearable. After finally having managed to shoo her out after an hour of being called ‘Master’ by two people Anders sat heavily on one of the cots. Patients had been scarce today and Fenris was studiously scrubbing at the floor again.

Anders watched him for a moment before speaking. “Fenris.”

Fenris turned to him, sitting on his heels, scrub brush dripping Maker only knew what on his pants and said, “Yes Master?”

“Come over here and take a break. You’ve been at that same spot for a while now,” Anders said patting the cot’s thin mattress next to him. He dropped the brush back into the bucket and dried his hands on his pants. Fenris trotted over and sat next to Anders.

“You know, you don’t have to scrub the floor,” Anders said holding out one of the cookies. It wasn’t the first time Anders had told him this. He usually got a shrug and a mumble but this time Fenris actually answered him.

“I know Master,” he said taking the cookie. Fenris slowly spun it in his hands before finally taking a bite.

Anders bit into his cookie and thought. “They used to make me scrub the hallways in the tower as punishment,” he said after a while. “I hated it.”

“Master,” Fenris said nervously. “Why did you…leave the Circle?”

What should I tell him, he thought.

**The truth, the Circle is unjust.**

He’s heard it all before. Nothing I say on that subject will change his mind.

**He does not remember his adult life. We could…**

Manipulate him? He might still change back to normal and I like my heart where it’s at thank you very much.

“Master?” Fenris said.

Anders looked over at Fenris. He wasn’t quite sure if it was fear or concern showing. Smiling at him Anders said, “Sorry, I was just thinking.” He shook his head a bit and asked “So you want to know why I escaped from the Circle?”

“I’m sorry Master,” Fenris said looking down at his lap. “I shouldn’t have asked.”

“No, no, no it’s all right,” Anders said quickly. “You can ask me anything. I just didn’t think you’d want to know.”

It took Fenris a long moment to work up the courage to speak again. “I…do not understand why you would want to leave the Circle.”

Anders thought about the argument he’d had with Fenris the first time Hawke took him to the Gallows. “The Circle of Magi is very different from the Tevinter Circle,” he said.

“How?” asked Fenris.

“They are…prisons. Children who are discovered with magical talent are taken away from their families and put into a room with twenty-nine others. The Templars tell you what you can and can’t do, where you can and can’t go, when to eat, when to bathe…they have complete control over the lives of mages.” Anders stopped and took a calming breath. “I didn’t like it so I escaped.”

Fenris nodded and took another cookie from the plate. Anders glanced over at him, he looked thoughtful. It was irritating that Anders had done basically as Justice wanted but Fenris _did_ ask. If he wanted to keep the elf talking he might have to answer more questions. He would just have to do his best not to turn the answers into sermons.

His thoughts were interrupted by a sullen young man entering the clinic. Anders ate the last of his cookie and stood. He met the young man halfway. A note was handed to him and the young man turned and hurried back out of the clinic. Frowning, Anders opened the note and read it silently.

Mistress Selby was being watched and couldn’t get the information from Solivitus about the next mage that was to be taken out of the Gallows. She wanted Anders to go there to get the information and another messenger would be sent to collect it later tonight.

“Master?” asked Fenris hesitantly from his side.

Anders looked down at him and crumpled the note before turning it to ash. “We have an errand to run.”


	9. Chapter 9

Master led them through the mess of Darktown and into Lowtown. Fenris thought Lowtown stank just as bad as Darktown did. While Darktown smelled of rot, Lowtown smelled of fire. He could see smoke in the air and had asked Master if something was burning. Master explained about the foundries, places where metal was turned into weapons and armor.

After they went through the hexes of Lowtown they descended the stairs to the docks. Fenris had barely contained his panic at seeing Qunari everywhere. Master had ignored them and Fenris stayed very close to him. He was relieved when they were on the ferry.

“Messere, where are we going?” Fenris asked as they leaned against the rail on the deck.

“The Gallows,” Master said grimly. “Home of Kirkwall’s Circle.”

Fenris wondered why his Master would come to a Circle on purpose. He didn’t think Master liked them judging from his answer earlier. It sounded to him like Circle mages were treated better than most slaves were but Master would know more about that than Fenris ever did. Fenris wasn’t a mage after all, just a slave.

He studied the stone fortress the ferry was going to and shivered. This place actually did look like a prison. There were barred portcullises at every entrance he could see beyond the docking area. White stone walls rose high into the air around the fortress. Two Templars stood guard at every portcullis.

Suddenly Fenris was worried. Master said he was an apostate. Templars outside of Tevinter chased apostates and put them in the Circle. If Master was caught, what would happen to him? He shuffled closer and looked up at Master fretfully. Fenris received a small but calm smile.

“Don’t worry. We’ll be all right,” Master said quietly. “Just stay close and keep quiet.”

Fenris nodded and watched the approaching fortress. It didn’t take very long for the ferry to reach it and they were walking down onto the dock with a bunch of others that had been on the ferry. It was rather crowded and Fenris had been told to stay close. He tentatively slipped his hand around Master’s belt and held on, glancing up to see if he would be in trouble for his boldness.

Master looked down at him briefly but quickly turned his attention back to the throng of people. He let out a breath he’d been holding and firmed his grip. Glad that he wouldn’t be punished, Fenris followed his Master closely. They passed through the portcullis and Fenris looked around.

The first thing he saw was the statues. Golden statues of slaves in various states of pain and they were everywhere. He knew then that this building at least was Tevinter in origin. There were many such statues at his former Master’s estate. A reminder that disobedience brought pain, he never liked them there and he didn’t like these either. Fenris fervently hoped this would be his only trip to the Gallows. There were many Templars standing around in various spots, watching or speaking to other Templars. He saw an armor merchant and a weapon merchant both shouting to the crowd. Fenris also noticed very few mages. If this was the circle wouldn’t there be more mages? Perhaps they were inside the building and only allowed a few out at a time.

It was then Fenris saw a great many people with a funny looking sun tattooed on their forehead. Some were merchants at stalls, others looked to be just wandering around and a few were cleaning the great courtyard. All of them wore passive looks that were disconcerting.

“Makers Breath,” Master whispered in horror. “Look at them all.”

Fenris looked up at his Master. His expression was just as horrified as his words. He had a white knuckle grip on his staff in one hand. Fenris wanted to ask but didn’t dare. He’d been told to stay quiet so he would but Master was disturbed by something in the courtyard. He seemed to be watching the passive people with the sun tattoos. Maybe he could ask later…when they left this horrible place.

Master shook his head, mumbled something and started forward, his staff thumping lightly on the stones at their feet. He saw then that Master’s staff could easily pass for a walking stick. It was wooden with a few feathers tied on at the top as decoration. Leading them back and around a corner, he approached a seller of herbs and potions.

“Welcome my friend!” The mage behind the stall said. “How can I help you today?”

“I’m looking for something sort of rare,” Master said. “Do you have any…”

Fenris stopped listening and looked around nervously. If what Master needed here was important for him to know about he was sure he wouldn’t get in trouble for asking later, when he wasn’t quite so distracted. Master had been very kind and patient with him on the myriad of potions the clinic needed.

He looked to the entrance into the Gallows that was nearby. There were a few people coming or going but one Templar stood and stared at them. He was one of the few Templars without a helmet on and Fenris could see that he had a resemblance to Hawke. The Templar pursed his lips and started toward them.

Fenris looked back to his Master and saw that money had changed hands and he now had a small clay jar in his hand. He tugged lightly on Master’s belt and glanced at the Templar again, who was definitely getting closer to them. Turning quickly, looked up and tugged on the belt again. Master finally looked at him and Fenris turned his worried gaze to the Templar that was nearly to them. Master followed his gaze and frowned.

“What are you doing…,” the Templar said but stopped abruptly when he looked at Fenris. “Maker! What have you done with him?”

Master snorted. “I’m glad someone didn’t need to ask me if he really is Fenris. I didn’t do anything Carver now if you’ll excuse me.”

With the jar in one hand and his staff still in the other, Master turned away from Templar Carver and began walking away. Fenris stayed by his side but Carver walked with them on his other side.

“Have you finally gone mad?” Carver asked. “What happened?”

“Go ask your brother,” Master said tersely. He kept walking and they were nearing the center of the courtyard now.

Fenris was wrenched around to a halt along with Master when Carver grabbed his shoulder and yanked him to a stop. “I’m asking you,” Carver said angrily.

If Fenris hadn’t been looking up at them he would have missed it. Masters eyes flashed blue for the briefest of instants. Carver let go and took a step back. “Ask Hawke,” Master said through clenched teeth.

Suddenly there was another Templar standing next to them. “Is there a problem here Ser Hawke?”

“No Knight-Captain, there isn’t,” Carver said tensely.

Fenris looked up at the Knight-Captain and thought he saw a brief moment of recognition as the Templar’s eyes met his before his face was neutral again. Master turned his glare from Carver to the Knight-Captain.

“We were just leaving Ser Cullen. No trouble at all,” Master said in a surprisingly meek voice.

A look that Fenris didn’t quite understand passed between them before the Knight-Captain waved toward the entrance and said, “Be off then.”

Master turned from them and walked quickly away. Fenris had to jog to keep up with him but he didn’t mind. The sooner they left the Gallows behind the better he would feel. They quickly reached the ferry and Master strapped the staff back in place. The jar disappeared into his pouch and he sat heavily on a bench. Fenris finally let go of Master’s belt and folded his hands in his lap as he sat next to him.

Scrubbing his face with his hands he muttered, “Andraste’s flaming knickers.”

Fenris had many questions. He didn’t know how many he dared ask though he wouldn’t ask any just now. Master didn’t look like he was in a very good mood at the moment. As the ferry rode the waves Fenris sorted through his many questions and he narrowed them down to three.

What was so important Master would risk getting caught for? Why did the people with the sun tattoos bother him so much? The one question he really wanted answered but probably wouldn’t ask why his eyes turned blue. It had been so brief Fenris wasn’t sure he’d seen it at all but that Templar, Carver, had backed away immediately. That was the only reason he didn’t doubt what he’d seen.

It made him wonder but he wasn’t worried. Master had been kind, much kinder than his former Master had been to him. Fenris hadn’t been punished once, he was allowed to speak and ask things, to get a drink when he was thirsty and to actually sleep somewhere besides the floor. He was treated like…someone who mattered…not a slave.

Master stayed quiet and thoughtful on the ferry and through the docks. Fenris was once again glad to leave the Qunari behind. They were now walking through the hexes of Lowtown. He stayed close and quiet.

“Anders!” a familiar voice rang out.

He stopped and turned toward the sound and saw Hawke running for them. Master waited for him to get closer before he spoke. “I thought you were going to Sundermount, what are you doing here?” Master asked.

“We met the Keeper halfway there,” Hawke said breathlessly. “Feynriel’s in trouble, he went to sleep and won’t wake. Keeper Marethari has a ritual to send some of us after him in the Fade.”

“So why are you running around trying to find me?” asked Master cautiously.

“Oh come on Anders! I can’t let Merrill come with us and you…have a unique insight,” said Hawke in frustration.

“I don’t know Hawke,” Master said nervously. Fenris looked up at him curiously. “I’ve avoided the Fade since…” Master looked down at him suddenly and his face brightened. “What about Fenris? I couldn’t possibly leave him…”

“Merrill and the Keeper have already promised to watch him,” Hawke said in exasperation. “I need you Anders.”

“All right,” Master said reluctantly. “Where are we going? Isn’t Feynriel at Sundermount?”

“The alienage,” Hawke said as they ran. “She thinks his childhood things will help ground him or something.”

Fenris hadn’t seen an alienage before. He stared openly as they descended the stairs. The brightly colored Vhenadahl tree filled his vision. The buildings were a bit shabbier than the rest of Lowtown but still nowhere near as bad as Darktown. He wasn’t allowed to gawk however. Hawke led them straight to one of the houses and barged in without knocking.

He recognized Merrill, Aveline and Varric but there were two more elves that he didn’t know. One was an old woman, her white hair done up in a bun, her tattooed face somehow kindly and grim at the same time. The other was very worried but she looked happy at seeing Hawke.

“Ready!” Hawke exclaimed clapping Master on the shoulder. Master gave him an irritated look but remained silent. “Let’s get started.”

“This way then,” said the old elf.

She started off towards another room followed closely by Aveline, Varric, Hawke and Master reluctantly followed as well. Fenris started after him but was held back by Merrill.

“Master!” he cried out trying to hide the sudden fear he felt.

Master looked back, frowned deeply and then hurried to kneel in front of him. Placing one hand on his shoulder he squeezed gently. “You’ll be all right. Merrill won’t hurt you,” Master said gently. “I promise I’ll be back.”

Fenris nodded slowly, frowning. Master squeezed his shoulder again and smiled before hurrying through the door.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is my opinion that Tranquility is known in Tevinter but not widely used. Someone of Fenris' station would probably have not known about it until he left Tevinter.

Anders opened his eyes and he was lying on the floor of Arianni’s home in the alienage. His hand went to his pouch and found the little clay jar and he sighed in relief. Next to him Hawke sat up suddenly and blew out a breath. Anders sat up as well and stretched.

“I can’t believe them,” Hawke said shaking his head. “Varric and Aveline both dealing with a demon, its unimaginable!”

“No one is immune Hawke,” Anders said.

Hawke snorted. “Says the possessed mage.”

Anders rolled his eyes and pushed himself to his feet. Hawke stood as well and after stretching took a few steps to the door. He stopped and turned so suddenly that Anders almost ran into him.

“Did we do the right thing?” Hawke asked quietly.

“It was the only thing we could do,” Anders said. “The Circle knows next to nothing about Somniari, the Keeper couldn’t help him and that leaves Tevinter. No matter how we feel about the Imperium they can teach Feynriel to use his power safely. All we can do is hope the boy has a good head and doesn’t get caught up in all the…bad things.”

It actually bothered Anders more than he was letting on that Feynriel would be in Tevinter. His opinion of the place had been radically altered lately and he wasn’t sure it was such a good idea to send such a powerful mage there on purpose. Unfortunately, unless Feynriel was made tranquil it was really the only plausible solution.

Hawke nodded and turned back to the door. He opened it and walked into the next room with Anders following closely. They were all sitting on the floor around Varric listening to him finish up a tale of one of their adventures. Fenris was sitting cross legged, tucked between Keeper Marethari and Merrill, listening with wide eyed rapt attention.

“Fresh air had never smelled as good as it did that day after weeks in the Deep Roads,” Varric finished.

“Master!” Fenris exclaimed. He jumped up and ran forward to stand in front of him. “You are a Grey Warden?”

“Err, yes. Did I forget to mention that?” said Anders.

Hawke began speaking with the Keeper and the others crowded around them. Anders looked down at Fenris and wondered if that was actually pride he could see. Adult Fenris hadn’t cared one way or the other. He had only seen another dirty mage who had already sold himself to a demon.

**I am not a demon!**

I know that. Fenris is the one who thinks you’re a demon.

**You cannot hide your doubts.**

Please not now. Think of the mages, we need to get back to the clinic.

He could feel the sprit’s grumbling disapproval but Justice fell silent. Anders felt guilty enough for his doubts but he couldn’t help it. Justice had changed and he was getting harder to control.

“Master?”

Anders shook himself out of his thoughts and looked down at Fenris. “Sorry, I was just thinking,” he said. He turned to walk with the rest of the group as they all left Arianni’s home. “We need to get back to the clinic, Hawke.”

“I need to get back to the barracks, see you later Hawke,” Aveline said. She sounded fine but Anders thought she was pretty shaken up by what had happened in the fade. He sort of felt sorry for her as he watched her hurry away.

“Thank you Anders. Merrill and I are going to visit with the Keeper. It’s too late to start back now,” Hawke said.

“This is the young man you spoke of?” Keeper Marethari asked Hawke.

“Yes Keeper. I’ve brought him to the camp a few times as an adult,” answered Hawke respectfully.

“I remember, the sour young man with the large sword,” she mused.

Anders briefly looked down at Fenris and saw that he was getting uncomfortable. He’d never brought up the accident or that he’d been older since that first night. “I’m sorry Keeper but we really must be going.”

“May the dread wolf never catch your scent,” she said.

He nodded to her then said, “I’ll see you all later.”

“Don’t forget card night this time Blondie,” said Varric as Anders turned away. “We missed your sparkling personality last week.”

Anders chuckled. “You just missed my coin,” he said waving over his shoulder.

There were good natured laughs that followed him up the stairs. Anders led them quickly back to the clinic before anyone else could stop them. He lit the lamps and unlocked the doors. Fenris busied himself immediately and Anders moved to his makeshift pantry, a crate stacked on top of a few others to keep the rats out.

“Have you eaten?” Anders asked. He had spent lunch in the fade and they had nearly missed dinner.

“Merrill fixed lunch for us, Master,” he said. After a moment he added, “I guess I am a bit hungry.”

“Well get over here then,” Anders said. He smiled around a mouthful of muffin when Fenris looked up at him.

They ate in companionable silence. Anders watched the door, waiting for the messenger who would take the information in the clay jar. It contained the name of a mage who would soon be free of the Gallows, which tunnels to use and when to meet the contact. Anders just hoped the Mage Underground wouldn’t want him to go on this run. He didn’t think Fenris would agree to stay with anyone else all night yet. His short journey into the fade made him hope this would eventually be possible but Anders didn’t really want to push his luck.

Taking Fenris with him was also unwise given his usual attitude towards mages. It was also dangerous. The boy Fenris was now couldn’t defend himself and besides the giant spiders that seemed to be everywhere there were smugglers and Templars to worry about. So he watched the door and waited. His hand drifted constantly to the jar in his pouch as he ate. With his mind elsewhere, Fenris’ question caught him entirely by surprise.

“Master, why did all those people have a sun tattooed on their forehead?” he asked quietly.

Stunned, Anders turned slowly to look at Fenris. He was looking at the muffin he’d been eating, a troubled expression on his face.

“You don’t know about tranquility?” Anders asked slowly.

“No Master,” Fenris said earnestly as he looked up at him.

“It’s a ritual the Templars use to sever a mage’s connection to the fade. Everyone in that courtyard you saw today with a sun on their forehead has had that ritual performed on them. It prevents a mage from using his magic but it also turns them completely emotionless,” Anders explained.

“Emotionless?” Fenris asked.

“No fear, no love, no happiness, no sadness…nothing.”

Anders watched as Fenris absorbed the information. He couldn’t quite believe that Fenris didn’t know about it because he’d asked once why Karl was made Tranquil. It made no sense to him that child Fenris didn’t know when adult Fenris did. It was strangely satisfying to see the horrified look on his face now. Especially after the poorly veiled threat at the end of that particular conversation.

“That’s…,” Fenris started. He stopped speaking and shook his head.

“Barbaric? Terrible? Inhuman?” finished Anders vehemently. “No one deserves to have their mind sundered in such a manner.”

“How could…why would they do that?” Fenris asked in a small voice.

“Demons aren’t interested in the Tranquil. They’re ‘safe’.” Anders said angrily. He could feel Justice rising to the surface so he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. If this spell went on for much longer Fenris would have to be told about Justice but watching him lose control was not the best way to do it. He took a few more calming breaths in the heavy silence before opening his eyes again. 

Fenris had brought his knees to his chest and hugged them, making himself small on the cot he sat on. He watched Anders cautiously. “I’m sorry Fenris. I’m not angry at you,” Anders said calmly.

Neither of them had a chance to say anything more. The clinic door had been opened and shut quietly. It was the sound of the lock being thrown that got their attention. Anders turned to the door and saw a cloaked figure leaning against it. He grabbed his staff from where he’d propped it beside him and stood.

“Who are you?” he demanded.

“Why is the boy still here?” asked a soft feminine voice.

“The boy is none of your concern,” Anders said stepping forward.

The woman pushed back her hood and said, “He is if he jeopardizes our mission.”

“Mistress Selby,” Anders said flatly. “I thought you were going to send a messenger.”

“I was until I received an urgent missive from my contact. There are two mages we have to rescue tonight. One of them is pregnant, she’s due anytime now. The other took a severe beating for the pregnant one. He’s thought to be the father. We can get them out tonight but you’re the only one available to lead them,” she said. “Now about the boy…”

“He’s not going anywhere for a while. Is there no one else who can do this?” asked Anders.

“No. Everyone else can’t get away from their other responsibilities. Besides, he’s going to need your healing.”

Anders leaned on his staff and hung his head in thought. He wouldn’t leave Fenris with a stranger but this fledgling family needed his help. It was getting late and there was no time to take Fenris to Varric or Hawke. Fenris might not stay with them anyway, well he would but he would be frightened. A frightened Fenris might accidentally hurt someone because of all that damn lyrium in his skin. He stayed calm if Anders was near but taking him with would also be dangerous. Anders wasn’t willing to leave him alone in the clinic either.

“I’ll just have to take him with,” Anders sighed.


	11. Chapter 11

Fenris had only been half listening to them. He was still reeling over the cruelty of having your very feelings taken away. He had seen many cruel things done to other slaves. Beating and whipping were considered getting off easy but to not feel anything…that seemed too horrible even for a Magistar. There had been so many at the Gallows, it was no wonder Master had been in a bad mood.

The more he’d spoken of tranquility the angrier he’d gotten. His eyes had turned blue again just before Master had shut them. This time his skin had started to faintly glow as well and it had frightened Fenris. Master had promised not to hurt him though and he was only a little worried. A promise to a slave was unheard of in the first place but Fenris knew that it would be all together too easy to break that promise. If he was good and stayed useful then Master would have no reason to break his promise.

He was brought out of his thoughts by Master’s last words. It sounded like Master didn’t really want to take Fenris with him. Fenris wasn’t sure what to think about that so he began listening closely.

“Is that wise?” asked Mistress Selby after a short pause.

“I’m not leaving him here and there’s no time to take him anywhere else. Which path and where am I supposed to take them?”

“The third path. Take them to the Wounded Coast,” she said reluctantly.

Master thought for a moment. “Give me your cloak,” he told Mistress Selby. She arched an eyebrow at him but handed it over. Once Master had her cloak he turned to Fenris. “Come here please.”

Fenris stood and hurried over to him. Master draped the cloak around his shoulders, fastened it with a red brooch at the neck and pulled the hood up over his head. It was much too big for him but Master seemed satisfied.

He watched from the shadows of the hood as Master dug through some of his things and pulled out a black cloak of his own and slipped it on. Master walked up to Mistress Selby and said, “Would you like me to escort you to Lowtown?” He held out the little clay jar he’d gotten at the Gallows.

“No, you need to be going. Good luck,” she said, taking the jar. “I’ll want my cloak back.”

Master nodded and watched her leave. Turning to Fenris he said, “Keep that hood up as best as you can. It’s dark in the tunnels and your hair makes a wonderful target. Stay close but I might need to use my staff so not too close. Be as quiet as you can, we don’t want to attract any attention in the tunnels. Most importantly, don’t tell anyone about the tunnels.”

“Yes Master,” Fenris said.

“Let’s go,” Master said as he pulled up his own hood.

Fenris followed his Master through Darktown to the entrance of some tunnels that ran deeper. From there they entered some dark, narrow caverns. He fell a pace behind his Master but kept him in sight easily by the fire he held in a hand. They walked in moss covered caves. Rocks littered the floor encrusted in lichen and passed the occasional stalagmite. The path branched several times but Master never hesitated. He knew exactly where he was going.

It was impossible for Fenris to tell how long they walked through the caverns but he thought maybe an hour or two at most when they came to an open cave with stairs cut into the stone at the back. Standing just at the bottom of the stairs were a Templar and two people Fenris thought were mages, one male and one female. The female was heavily pregnant, her belly large and round. She supported the male with an arm around his waist and his arm around her shoulders.

Fenris had seen worse beatings but not by much. His face was a giant bruise and his nose sat crooked, making him think it was probably broken. With the arm that wasn’t around the woman’s shoulders he clutched his middle, taking only shallow breaths. His clothes were dirty and torn and crusted with blood in some places. Master hurried forward and Fenris hurried after him.

“You a healer?” the Templar said quietly. Fenris thought his voice sounded a bit familiar but the helmet muffled and changed his voice too much to be sure. He had a large sword strapped to his back, it was very similar to the one Aveline had brought Master.

“Yes,” Master said quietly.

“Good luck,” the Templar said as Master stood in front of the injured man.

The Templar turned and began walking up the steps, his armor making a loud racket in the quiet cave. Master pushed his hood back and the now familiar glow of healing spread across his hands to the man’s injuries. Fenris watched the Templar pause and look back. His helmet first turned to Fenris and then to Master. He continued up the steps and out of sight. Master had been seen without the hood. The Templar would surely recognize him. Fenris waited for him to finish healing the man.

“This is going to hurt, try not to cry out,” Master said quietly.

The glow on his hands faded for a moment as Master cupped the man’s neck in one hand and suddenly wrenched his nose back into place with the other. There was a sharp intake of breath and the man whimpered but he didn’t cry out. Master sent more healing magic into him and the bruises faded but didn’t disappear entirely. When Master stepped away the man took a careful deep breath and stood up straighter.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“Come on,” Master said after he nodded to the man.

Before he could begin walking, Fenris came up to him. “Master, that Templar saw you without your hood,” he said quietly.

Master frowned. “He should be all right…hopefully. Keep your ears open though.”

Fenris nodded and Master led them back through the caverns the way they’d come in. As he followed, Fenris listened. There was a constant drip of water from somewhere no matter how far they went in the caves. He heard the squeaking of rats and at one point a very soft shuffling noise. Their footsteps echoed and reverberated throughout the caverns but Fenris didn’t hear anything human besides them. After a short while Master turned down one of the paths he ignored earlier. He looked around constantly with his staff gripped in one hand and a palm full of fire in the other to light the way. The other two mages remained quiet and followed closely. Fenris didn’t know how long they walked but it felt like hours. They stopped to allow the woman to rest a few times but Fenris could tell Master was anxious to get somewhere.

They were currently walking down a cave that had few other paths but plenty of twists and turns. Fenris stifled a yawn as they rounded another corner. Master stopped and turned around.

“We’re almost there now,” he said quietly. Master looked to the woman and added, “Can you go on?”

“Yes, I’ll be all right,” she said, panting slightly and leaning on the man. His arm around her shoulders tightened just a bit and she smiled at him fondly.

Fenris looked behind them and saw nothing but the same dark caves he’d been seeing for hours now. Master turned back around and Fenris turned to follow but stopped. The other mages moved past him as Fenris turned his head to the side and listened. There it was again, the scrape of metal on metal.

“Fenris,” Master called out quietly.

He hurried the few feet that separated them and said, “Master, I hear something behind us.”

Master looked back down into the gloom. “Fenris,” he said. “I want you to finish leading them out. There are no other branches and the entrance isn’t too far.” He turned to the other two mages. “Someone will be waiting for you at the entrance.”

Fenris felt panic grip him as he watched his Master turn back and walk into the cave the way they’d come, the fire in his palm dying out. He took a deep breath. Master had given him orders and he would follow them. He looked up at the other two mages briefly and forced himself to walk in the other direction. Turning to look back only once to make sure they were following, Fenris led them the rest of the way.

The fear he saw on their faces was mirrored inside him but Fenris didn’t let it show. Master would be all right. He was powerful and he showed his enemies no mercy. He would be all right, he would come back. Fenris repeated those two thoughts over and over inside his head until they finally saw light at the end of the tunnel.

Fenris stopped. He turned to them and gestured for them to go on. They exchanged a look, the woman nodded and went on but the man knelt in front of Fenris. He took a cautious step backwards.

“Come with us. We’ve heard what you call him,” he said calmly. Fenris shook his head. “You don’t have to stay a slave. We’re not even sure why he helped us if he condones slavery.”

“Master has told me that I am free. He is a kind healer and a Grey Warden. I don’t want to leave him,” Fenris said taking another step backward.

The man looked doubtful and sad but stood and started to the cave entrance. “Thank you!” he called out quietly.

Fenris waited until he was sure anyone at the entrance would be gone. Cautiously he walked forward and stopped at the edge of the light. He sat just inside of it and leaned against the rock wall to wait.


	12. Chapter 12

Anders looked back once but couldn’t see them. He hoped he hadn’t just made a colossal mistake leaving Fenris but it was much safer ahead than behind. Turning back he stayed close to the wall of the cave as he made his way, quietly back the way they’d come. When he could hear the clanking of armor he slowed and edged around a turn in the cave.

Crouching behind a rock he waited until he could see light slowly moving towards him from around a far curve. An armored person cautiously rounded the turn and Anders frowned. Five Templars with their heavy skirts and the flaming sword emblazoned on their breastplates. Each had a weapon ready.

He had no idea why they were out here. He’d taken many turns to ensure they weren’t being followed and he was pretty sure that they weren’t. If the Templars had discovered these tunnels then the Mage Underground was in trouble. Hoping they were just lost, Anders stood and cast a paralysis glyph.

There were shouts of surprise as the front three were frozen in a green prison. With a yell of his own he shot lightening at the trapped Templars. He smiled grimly as it arced from one to the next. The other two Templars had been trapped behind their frozen brothers and he watched them back away from the lightening that was still arcing.

Using the last of his mana, Anders created a firestorm. A near solid wall of raging flame would finish off the three and prevent the two from following for quite a while. He watched it grow as he fed his mana into the storm. The heat of the flames was making him sweat and turning his exposed skin a pinkish red. Anders fled back through the caverns hoping that one of those Templars hadn’t been Carver. 

**Why do you worry about the traitor? He chose a side, he is the enemy.**

Because Hawke would never forgive us.

Anders ignored the irritated spirit as he ran. Justice didn’t understand family. Even though Carver had chosen to become a Templar he was still Hawke’s brother. Even though they had always fought like cats and dogs, Anders knew Hawke still loved Carver. It didn’t matter that one was a mage and the other a Templar, they would always share something that Anders had been denied. He didn’t want to be the one who took that away.

As he neared the cave’s exit he began looking for Fenris. He realized he hadn’t told him to stay in the cave. It would be extremely hard to find him if he had left. Anders pushed himself to move faster and soon he saw faint light in the distance. A figure sat at the edge of the light spilling into the cave. Anders sighed in relief when he saw that it was Fenris.

“Master,” he said as he shot to his feet.

“Glad to see you’re still here,” Anders said between deep panting breaths.

Fenris stood and waited patiently while Anders caught his breath bending slightly and resting his hands on his knees. Before his breathing had evened out completely, he nodded toward the entrance and straightened. They walked out into the warm morning light. The calm waters of the Waking Sea glittered just a short distance away. Anders led them down the paths that would take them back to Kirkwall. Fenris was quiet but he looked relieved. He was also yawning with every other step it seemed. Anders couldn’t hold back a wide yawn either and decided that they needed a nap before finishing the journey to Kirkwall. He was in no condition to fight off any bandits they ran across.

He began looking for a hidden spot where they could both rest and soon found one. It was a tiny clearing among some of the bushes that grew along the coast. Hidden around a curve in the path behind a small line of trees, perfect for him to lean against, it would be hard for anyone coming along on the path to see them.

Anders squeezed in between the trees, sinking down to sit. Fenris followed his example and sat heavily beside him. “Get some sleep Fenris,” Anders said stifling another yawn.

“Thank you Master,” Fenris said gratefully. He balled the cloak he still wore and lay with it under his head. Fenris was asleep almost instantly. It took a bit longer for Anders to sleep but he did. His sleep was, thankfully, dreamless and he woke with the sun high in sky. Fenris was still sleeping but he was talking quietly in his sleep.

“No,” Fenris mumbled quietly. “Leto is dead.”

Who’s Leto, Anders wondered as he reached over to wake him.

“Fen…,” Anders began. He fell silent quite suddenly when he gently grasped the elf’s upper arm, meaning only to shake him awake. Fenris had worn a short sleeve shirt the previous day and when Anders gripped his arm, he unthinkingly touched several of the lyrium markings. A strange heat raced up his fingers, up his arm and from there spread quickly throughout his whole body. There was a pleasant tingling sensation that began pulsing, beginning from where they touched.

Anders watched as Fenris’ eyes snapped open. The markings were glowing white, spreading from his upper arm where Anders still held them. They began pulsing in time with what he suspected was his heartbeat. He wondered if it was Fenris’ heartbeat that he could feel in the tingling warmth pulsing through him. Fenris’ eyes clouded in fear and the pulses grew quicker.

Releasing his grip on Fenris’ arm, he scuttled backwards, putting a few feet of space between them. The brands went dormant immediately after Anders broke contact with them and the pleasant warmth he felt faded away, leaving him feeling a bit cold on such a warm day.

“Are…,” he said, stopping when his voice cracked. Anders cleared his throat. “Are you all right?”

“Master, I…I don’t…what…,” Fenris stuttered. He shook his head and sat up fully. “I’m not hurt Master, but what…,”

“I don’t know,” Anders said shakily.

“You aren’t…angry?” Fenris asked hesitantly.

“No, why do you ask?”

“Master, you were glowing…like you did when I asked about the Tranquil.” Fenris finished the last of this sentence with his eyes on the ground.

Anders groaned. He hadn’t been quite as successful at hiding Justice as he’d hoped. “What color?” he asked. Fenris had been glowing too but not the usual blue, the markings had turned white.

“White Master,” Fenris said quietly.

“Fenris, there’s a couple of things I need to tell you but…not here. Let’s get back to Kirkwall,” Anders said as he stood. 

Scrambling to his feet, Fenris said, “Yes Master.”

Anders led the way and Fenris stayed beside him, no further away than where he usually was. This led Anders to believe it wasn’t that strange reaction to his touch that had frightened Fenris but the glowing. He couldn’t put it off anymore. Fenris had to be told about Justice. Taking care of Fenris because of the accident had already gone on longer than he’d hoped it would. It was the only responsible thing to do to try and ease his fears. Hopefully Anders wouldn’t make them worse by admitting he was sort of an abomination.

Having come to that decision, Anders thoughts drifted back to the reaction of his touch. It wasn’t the first time he’d touched Fenris but it was the first time he’d ever touched the lyrium markings. If that sort of thing happened whenever a mage touched him it made sense that Fenris didn’t like being touched. Anders was curious to know what it felt like from Fenris’ end but didn’t really want to ask beyond what he already had. He also couldn’t ask if that happened to every mage or if it was just him. Child Fenris knew nothing of the markings and wouldn’t know.

Anders sped up just a bit, placing a hand over the gnawing empty pit that had been his stomach. He hoped it wouldn’t take long to get to Kirkwall.


	13. Chapter 13

As they walked Anders thought. How would this Fenris react to the knowledge of Justice? It just gave adult Fenris more fuel for his rage against Anders, but child Fenris and adult Fenris were almost two different people. Would he be frightened? Would he not care? Or would it start the hate anew? And why, exactly, did he care so much?

Disturbed by this line of thought he searched for something to talk about. “Fenris, who is Leto?” he asked.

Fenris looked up at him, eyes wide in surprise. “You didn’t rename me?” Fenris asked.

“Rename you? Why would I rename you?” Anders said in confusion. He silently rejoiced at the lack of a ‘Master’ in that question though.

“It is not uncommon for slaves to be renamed by their Masters. We are property. I thought that you didn’t like my name and renamed me Fenris, Master,” explained Fenris.

Anders sighed. “You are not property. You are a living, breathing, person,” Anders said for what felt like the thousandth time. Maybe not those exact words but the truth behind them. “So your name is actually Leto?”

“Leto is the name my mother gave me, Master,” Fenris said cautiously.

“Would you rather I call you that? I’ve only ever known your name as Fenris.”

“No, Master,” Fenris said immediately.

“Why not?” he asked curiously.

“It doesn’t…feel right?” Fenris said, turning the statement into a question.

There are two whole sentences without the word ‘Master’ in them somewhere, Anders thought happily. Maybe he could set this boy straight yet. Anders thought he understood even though Fenris clearly didn’t. The boy didn’t remember the adult, but his adult life was still there…locked up in his mind somewhere. He’d been Fenris for so long that even though he remembered his given name now it was not really his name anymore. It was something Anders could sympathize with. He didn’t know if he could stand being called by his own given name anymore either.

“Fenris it is then,” he said.

Fenris looked grateful and smiled shyly up at him. He marveled once again how odd it looked to see an honest smile on his face. It wasn’t the wry smile Anders saw Fenris give others as an adult, too open and innocent. Maybe it was just odd to have a smile directed at him.

“Master,” Fenris said thoughtfully. “Wouldn’t it have been better for them to escape after?”

“If they had waited until the baby was born, the Templars would have taken it,” Anders said sadly.

Anders watched a variety of emotions flicker across his face, disbelief, shock, horror, until Fenris fixed his slave face into place. He had learned from this little escapade that even slaves were allowed to keep their children. It had only fueled his anger that even slaves were allowed a small measure of humanity that mages weren’t.

Fenris said nothing as they finally approached Kirkwall’s gate. Anders led them through it and through Hightown to the Amell estate. He wanted relatively neutral ground when he spoke with Fenris about Justice. Besides, Hawke wouldn’t mind feeding them. As he walked up to the door it opened to reveal Hawke and a very flustered Merrill beside him.

“Maker’s breath, man! Where have you been?!?” Hawke exclaimed.

“The Wounded Coast,” Anders said in confusion. “Are you watching me?”

Hawke stepped to the side and gestured for Anders to come in. “Not watching exactly, no, but Merrill went by this morning and you weren’t there.”

“I checked back several times but you were never there. I was a bit worried,” Merrill added.

Anders stepped inside and Hawke shut the door after Fenris had followed him. “Thank you for your concern but I _am_ capable of taking care of myself,” he said in irritation.

“Merrill, could you take Fenris to the kitchen and see what you can find to eat. I need to have a chat with Anders,” Hawke said pleasantly.

Fenris looked up at him and Anders nodded. Merrill led him out of the entryway and into the house beyond. Anders didn’t know whether to be touched or angry. Instead of speaking he folded his arms across his chest and waited for Hawke.

“Alright, yes I’m watching you,” Hawke said after making sure no one was listening to them. “Between Varric’s people and Aveline’s guards I know you went to the Gallows yesterday and that you had a cloaked visitor. After Merrill showed up here this morning to report I feared the worst.”

“If you know that much then you should know that I saw you after we left the Gallows,” Anders said coldly. “Do you really have so little faith in me?”

“It’s not Fenris getting hurt I’m worried about,” Hawke snapped angrily. “We don’t know how long this will last or how he’ll react when it does wear off…if it wears off. Let’s not even mention those damned markings.”

“You’re…worried about me?” Anders asked in sudden confusion.

“Of course I’m worried about you!” he said in exasperation. “As entertaining as this whole situation is, I wish he’d stayed here.”

“You might just get that wish,” Anders said quietly. “We need to tell him about Justice.”

“Andraste’s ass.” Hawke muttered shaking his head. “Let’s get this over with.”

Anders nodded and followed Hawke through the estate to the kitchen. Fenris was sitting at the table eating a sandwich. Merrill set a cup of tea in front of him. When he tried to stand Anders waved him back down and sunk into a chair opposite him at the table. Hawke stood next to Merrill and whispered in her ear.

He didn’t know how to start or why his stomach was nervously rolling. Anders looked up from the table to Fenris, who sat calmly waiting. Taking a deep breath he decided to just get it over with.

“Fenris, I’m…possessed by a spirit of Justice.” His only reaction was a slight widening of his already large eyes. “That’s what happens when you can see the blue, it’s him coming out.”

Silence descended over them like a blanket. Anders and Fenris stared at one another and the silenced dragged on until Anders couldn’t handle it.

“Well?” he asked in frustration. He’d expected some sort of reaction but being stared at hadn’t been it. “Nothing to say?”

“You don’t look like an abomination…Master,” Fenris said quietly.

“You’re not frightened or angry?”

“A little scared Master,” Fenris said finally breaking eye contact to look at the table. “But you’ve never hurt me.” It was almost an afterthought.

“Would you rather stay here with Hawke?” Anders asked. He felt a nervous flutter in his stomach.

“No, Master,” Fenris said immediately.

Anders felt relief wash over him, and it puzzled him greatly.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit more violence but once more not very graphic.

Fenris had seen abominations. Blood magic was everywhere in Tevinter and it was hard _not_ to see demons and abominations. There were duels in the streets after all. Master had never called a demon and he didn’t look like the abominations that Fenris had seen. It was clear to Fenris though that there was something different about his Master. No mage that he’d ever seen glowed like that.

If there was a difference between spirits and demons Fenris didn’t know what it was. Master was possessed by a creature from the Fade and in his experience that generally didn’t end well. So yes he was afraid but Master had never hurt him. He’d kept his promise to Fenris, a lowly slave. Never once had he been punished. Even after the tattoos had begun tingling when Master woke him and he’d forgotten to use his title twice.

Master was also always asking what he wanted. It was a very foreign thing to Fenris to be asked what he wanted. Good slaves accepted their station in life and wanted only to please their Master. Your Master’s wants were important, yours were not. But Fenris thought his wants were important to his Master or he wouldn’t keep asking. This feeling of being important…of being someone who mattered instead of someone to be used was what let Fenris push aside his fear.

So he waited patiently while Master consumed an alarming amount of Hawke’s food. He expected to go back to the clinic but Hawke wanted them to go to a place called the Hanged Man. Master protested some but they ended up there anyway. Fenris wasn’t sure he was supposed to be there but no one seemed to notice him.

As he looked around the common room of the tavern he wondered if every place in Kirkwall was filthy. So far the cleanest parts had been the Gallows and Hawke’s estate. This place almost rivaled Darktown. There were questionable stains on the floor and walls, it smelled of vomit and something else he couldn’t name but made him scrunch his face in disgust.

Hawke led them up a set of stairs in the back to a room that was much cleaner than the common room. There was a large table, bookshelves and strange stone carvings on the wall. Varric sat at the head of the table and Hawke dropped into the chair at his right. Merrill sat next to Hawke and Master sat to Varric’s left. Fenris stood patiently behind his Masters chair. He wasn’t sure what was expected of him so Fenris felt it safer to stand the way he’d been taught.

Master turned in his chair to look at him. “Why are you standing there?” he asked.

“You don’t wish me to stand, Master? Would you prefer me to sit?”

“Yes, please sit,” Master said.

Fenris took a step back and sat cross legged on the floor.

“Not on the floor!” he exclaimed. “In the chair!”

He quickly stood and slipped into the chair next to Master. Not quite understanding what he’d done wrong Fenris stayed silent. He was getting used to these strange mistakes that he never got in trouble for though.

They made conversation and the others arrived one by one, each of them sitting at the large table. Hawke went for drinks and soon returned with eight mugs. Most of them were filled with a foul looking brown liquid but his and Master’s were filled with water.

“Cards won’t be any fun without our best player,” Isabela said after the mugs had been passed around.

“Oh, I thought you’d enjoy not getting caught cheating,” Master said grinning.

“Where’s the fun in that?” she said. “I like a challenge.”

“In honor of our young companion why don’t we all tell a story of our youth instead?” Hawke suggested.

There was general agreement and some grumbling from Master and Isabela but Hawke went first. Fenris listened as Hawke told of a time when he talked his sister into playing a prank on a Templar and how much trouble he’d been in when their father had found out. He smiled when everyone else laughed. They went around the table each of them telling a story of their childhood.

Fenris thought each of their stories was interesting but it was Master’s story that really interested him the most. He told of an escape attempt from the Ferelden Circle. Only a little older than Fenris was now, he’d jumped into the lake that surrounded the tower and swam for shore. The Templars had caught him when he reached the other side.

As they walked home shortly after Fenris found that he did actually want something. He wanted to know more about his Master. For the next week when they weren’t busy with patients Fenris gathered his courage and asked him about his past, usually after one of the others had shown up with a basket of food when they sat eating. Master was a bit reluctant at first but eventually answered every question.

First he asked about how Master had gone to the Circle and his life there. Master told him of each of his escapes, how he’d been caught and how his final escape had led to the Grey Wardens. There was nothing but bitterness in his voice when he spoke of the Circle but there was fondness for the Wardens. At least until the Warden Commander had been sent away and the Templar let in. There were things Master glossed over or refused to speak about, such as the uprising during the Blight, his year in solitary and the Templar Rolan.

Fenris admired his tenacity and better understood what had made him go to the Gallows that day. Master had suffered much and only wanted the suffering of his kind to end. It wasn’t something Fenris had ever thought about before. Magistars did what they pleased no matter who they hurt in the process. He had just assumed all mages were like that. Through his Master, he was learning not all mages wanted power.

It made him wonder why his Master had let a Fade creature posses him. As they walked to the Hanged man to meet everyone else for card night, Fenris tried to work up the courage to ask. They were walking through an alley in Lowtown near the alienage. He was paying enough attention to keep up with Master and not to run into things but most of his thoughts were on the question he wanted to ask.

He heard Master grunt beside him but was surprised when he pushed Fenris to the side, into the wall behind some crates. When Master drew his staff Fenris became alarmed. There were two Templars blocking the mouth of the alley ahead of them. Master took a few wary steps forward.

“What do you want?” Master asked cautiously.

“You’re the apostate from the tunnels,” one of them said. “I won’t let you kill anymore Templars.”

“Put the staff down and come quietly,” the other said.

“No.”

“We don’t want to hurt you,” the second one said, drawing his sword and shield.

“Think of your little friend. Wouldn’t want him to see you run through,” the first said also drawing his weapons.

Fenris watched as they advanced slowly. Master watched them warily. “If I come quietly what will happen to him? Will he be left alone and sent on his way?”

“He will be brought in for questioning,” the second Templar said.

What happens next frightens Fenris as blue light showed through cracks that appear all over Master. He could see that his eyes had turned blue and his voice took on a deep tone that seemed to be doubled over his normal voice.

“You shall not have him!” Master exclaimed as he rushed forward to meet the stunned Templars.

The sound of his Master’s staff glancing off an upraised shield made Fenris wince and he wondered why Master didn’t use his magic. He engaged the two in front of him with the fury of a rage demon. It was hard for Fenris to follow the battle in the dark alley. Besides the moonlight and what little torchlight filtered in from the mouth of the alley Master was the only source of light.

Master was focused on the Templars in front of him when Fenris caught the glint of metal from behind him but ahead of where Fenris hid. There was a third Templar and he was almost to the battle, his sword held at the ready.

“No,” Fenris whispered. Without thinking he dashed around the crates and ran at the third Templar. It surprised him when the tattoos that he’d never gotten around to asking about began glowing. It was almost the exact same shade of blue that Master had pouring out of the cracks in his body. He was also surprised that he knew exactly what to do to save his Master’s life. Skidding to a stop directly behind the Templar he plunged a hand up and into the man’s chest. The Templar screamed in pain and the sword that had been aimed at Master’s heart went high, sticking in his shoulder instead. Fenris wrapped his fingers around the man’s heart and yanked his hand out of his chest.

Master snarled as the Templar behind him dropped to the ground. The sword was wrenched out of his shoulder and one of the two Templars in front of him snapped his staff in two with his sword. The injured arm fell limply to his side and Master snarled again as he jammed the broken staff between the breastplate and helmet of one of his attackers. The man fell to his knees and then to the side with a sickening gurgle.

Fenris dropped the heart he still held and backed away from them. The tattoos flickered out as Master ducked under a sword swing. Finally, Master cast an Ice spell that froze him solid. He calmly picked up one of the swords on the ground and used the pommel to shatter the last Templar.

As Master calmly turned to him, Fenris took a few more steps backwards. “You are unharmed?” he asked in that strange deep voice.

“Ye…yes,” Fenris stuttered.

“Good,” he said quietly. Just as suddenly as they had appeared, the cracks closed up sealing the blue light inside once more. His eyes turned back to their normal warm brown. The sword Master still held dropped from nerveless fingers and clattered to the ground. “Oh Maker,” he whispered without the deep echoing quality.

His gaze traveled from the bodies surrounding him to Fenris standing only a few feet away. “Master?” Fenris said cautiously. Master looked normal and Fenris was glad. The demon had protected him but he hoped to never see it again.

“Fenris I...,” Master said. He stopped speaking as the tattoo’s lit up once more.

Fenris didn’t know how he knew what to do before but this confused him. The part of him that knew how he could kill the Templar was telling him that this should not be happening. He looked up at Master and fearfully said, “What’s happening?”

“Calm down Fenris,” Master said cautiously walking to him.

Sudden agony burst through every fiber of his body. Fenris screamed as he fell to his knees. Before his eyes slipped shut he saw Master flying backwards suddenly and hit the wall of the building behind him. He slumped bonelessly to the ground as another wave of pain went through Fenris and he screamed again. The tattoo’s flared brighter for a second and went out as he fell forward into unconsciousness.


	15. Chapter 15

Anders lay in the bed with his eyes still shut. The sheets were soft and silky and the blanket warm and comfortable. He didn’t think he ever slept on something so soft before and didn’t really want to get up. Silent prodding from the spirit within forced him to sigh and open his eyes. Trying to sit up proved to be a bad idea because everything spun and his head began pounding. He flopped back onto the bed and winced at the pain in his shoulder.

“At least I’m not in the Gallows,” he said aloud.

With a hand pressed to his forehead he cast a healing spell and sighed in relief as the pounding faded. He shifted the focus of the spell to his shoulder and finished healing what someone else had started. It would scar but what was one more among the many he already had? Sitting up was successful this time and he looked around curiously.

The blanket pooled at his waist when he sat and he shivered as gooseflesh rippled across his bare chest. Anders thought he was in a spare bedroom of Hawke’s estate. The blanket was the same red everything else seemed to be and the furniture resembled what he had seen in other areas of the house. He lifted the blanket slightly and saw that his trousers were missing but he at least still had his smallclothes. He was looking around for a pair of pants at least when the door opened and Hawke walked in carrying a bundle of clothes.

“Thank the Maker you’re awake,” he said.

“Where’s Fenris? How did I get here?” Anders asked.

“Fenris is in the next room over,” Hawke said as he walked forward and dropped the bundle in his lap. “He’s back to normal but still unconscious. I couldn’t find anything wrong with him last night so I healed you as best as I could. What happened out there Anders?”

“Templars,” Anders said frowning. “Mana drained me and…Justice attacked. Andraste’s knickers, the bodies…”

“Have been taken care of, you two certainly know how to make a mess. So how did you end up in a heap against the wall? You’re head was bleeding quite badly,” Hawke interrupted.

Anders hand went to the back of his head. His hair was loose of its tie and he felt no dried blood. “Some sort of force wave from Fenris. His markings lit up, he screamed…,” Anders stopped and shuddered. “It sounded like…well like he was being ripped apart. I never want to hear it again.” He rubbed his arms as a chill settled over him. “Anyway, after he screamed I was flying backwards and then I don’t remember.”

“Merrill and I heard Fenris screaming,” Hawke said quietly. “We were on our way to the Hanged Man. When we found you two, you were unconscious and Fenris was back to normal. I sent Merrill back to her house for a blanket to cover Fenris, the clothes he wore are shredded, and I checked you both out. My pathetic healing skills stopped the bleeding at least. When she got back with the blanket I sent her to the Hanged Man to get Varric and whoever else was already there. Aveline and I brought you both back here and Varric and Isabela cleaned up the alley.”

“Thank you,” Anders said. He picked up the bundle of clothes and found that they weren’t his. “Where are my clothes?” he asked.

“I’ve sent your coat to the tailors. Somehow Bodahn managed to get all the blood out. Your shirt and pants were a lost cause.”

Anders threw back the blanket and stood. He quickly pulled the dark colored trousers up and laced them quickly. After that he pulled the blue shirt over his head and frowned. It was at least two sizes too big. Looking up at Hawke he arched an eyebrow and picked at the material.

Hawke smirked back at him and shrugged. “You’re welcome,” he said. “Let’s go check on Fenris.”

He turned and walked out the door without looking back. Anders shook his head and started after him. Briefly he wondered where his boots were. Hawke was standing at the door waiting for him. When Anders appeared in the hallway he opened the door and walked in without bothering to knock.

Fenris was sitting up, blankets pooled around his waist, rubbing his eyes. “Where am I?” he asked.

“My home, how do you feel?” Hawke answered.

“Sore. What were we doing and where are my clothes?” he said irritably.

“You don’t remember the last two weeks?” Hawke asked.

“It’s…foggy. The last thing I clearly remember is being home, looking around in some of the unused rooms.”

“You triggered some traps that turned you into a child,” Anders said. “You didn’t remember your adult life and thought you were still a slave. You’ve been living with me for the last two weeks.”

“I thought I was still a slave,” he said flatly. Fenris turned to Hawke and his expression turned stormy. “And you left me with the abomination?”

Anders tried not to wince or to show any emotion at all. Somehow, Fenris calling him that after their time together hurt. He had been privileged to see a part of Fenris that he didn’t even remember. Knowing that a mage had turned him into the bitter, hateful person he was now shamed him. So he put his own ‘slave face’ on and tried hard to push the unwelcomed feelings away.

“You didn’t leave us much choice Fenris. Anders tried to leave you here and you wouldn’t have it,” Hawke said gently.

“Wouldn’t have it?” Fenris said angrily. “What do you mean? I would never willingly stay with _him_!”

“What was I supposed to do, _elf_?” Anders spat angrily. “Leave you here thinking Hawke would sacrifice you? Let you kill someone with those damn markings because you were scared?”

“Have a care, _Mage_ ,” Fenris said dangerously. “When I find out what you did to me…,”

“I did nothing,” Anders said coldly. He was tempted to let Justice have the control he was pushing for. The outrage he felt was echoed from Justice and coupled with the deep hurt he felt, it was almost a fight he lost anyway. “I’m not listening to this.”

Anders turned and walked stiffly out of the room. He ignored Hawke calling for him to come back. Without bothering to find his boots, he descended the stairs and walked through the foyer to the front door. Hawke was at his heels still speaking but Anders barely heard him. He shrugged Hawke’s hand off of his shoulder and opened the door. He slammed it behind him and fled through the streets to his clinic.

He left the lamp outside the door dark and locked the door after him. Without lighting any of the lamps inside he collapsed on the first cot he saw. Anders curled into as tight a ball as he could. He ignored the ache in his feet and tried to ignore the ache in his chest. It was an ache he didn’t understand. Fenris’ reaction should have been expected but he had hoped.

After a while he stood and got a pair of socks. Anders sat on his cot in the back and pulled the socks on his cold, sore feet. How the elves went barefoot all the time he couldn’t begin to guess. He searched for a bit of leather to tie his hair back with and he spied the clothes and bits of armor that were still neatly folded at the very end of the cot.

Frowning at them, he resisted the childish urge to sweep them to the floor. Instead he stood and walked around his curtain to light the lamps inside the clinic. As the lamps flared to life he heard the click of a lock being thrown and the door swung open. Varric stood in the doorway with Hawke directly behind him.

“Told you he’d be here,” Hawke said with a grin.

Varric shook his head and they walked in and shut the door behind them. Anders crossed his arms over his chest. He wasn’t really in a mood to put up with Hawke’s strange sense of humor right now.

“Do you two actually need something?” he asked tiredly.

“Yes actually. There’s an irate elf at my house that refuses to leave without his clothes,” Hawke said cheerfully.

Anders jerked a thumb over his shoulder and turned to fiddle with the papers on his desk. They began moving to the back and Anders did his best to ignore them. He sat at his desk and straightened the papers. There was a presence at his back and a hand landed on his shoulder.

“I brought your boots. I’ll bring your coat by when it’s finished and I left a staff for you back there,” Hawke said quietly.

“We’ll set him straight Blondie,” Varric said from the other side.

“Let him think what he wants,” Anders said quietly. “You won’t change his mind anyway. I don’t care what he thinks of me.”

Because he was still looking down at his desk, Anders didn’t see the concerned look they shared. He did feel a strong wave of disapproval from Justice though. The hand on his shoulder squeezed for just a moment then disappeared.

“Get some rest Anders,” Hawke said. He sounded further away than he had before. “That was quite a knock your head took.”

Finally turning to face the door he watched them leave. After a moment he stood and locked the door again. He paused and rested his forehead on the cold wood.

“I don’t care,” he said again. It was a lie and he didn’t really need a Fade spirit to point that out.


	16. Chapter 16

Anders spent the rest of that day wandering around his clinic trying to erase any signs that Fenris had been there. He washed the sheets and blankets off of his cot and gave the extra clothes Fenris had worn to the nearest child in Darktown. It didn’t help much. The clinic still seemed too empty. Eventually he lit the lantern outside his doors and tried to lose himself in healing. Even that had been tainted by that blasted elf but he continued, pushing himself long past when he should have stopped.

Eventually he’d passed out from exhaustion, slumped over his desk. That’s how Hawke found him the next day when he brought Anders his coat. After extracting a promise to rest from him Hawke had left and Anders had slept. Most of that day and for most of that night too, he slept. If he dreamed, he didn’t remember them.

That next night Hawke had wanted him to go gang hunting with him, Fenris and Varric. It was a perfect opportunity to test the staff Hawke had left for him. It was the same sort of wood his old staff had been. At the top there were delicate looking twigs branching off the main shaft. Where the wood branched there were two stone dogs tied onto the staff with red leather. Anders had laughed at that and had tied a single raven feather around the neck of one of them. The staff was meant for a battle mage, but Anders knew he cast as many fireballs as he did healing spells. As long as it didn’t hinder his healing abilities the staff should work fine.

The night had started off fine but Anders found himself distracted not long after reaching Hightown. After so many shy smiles and even some sympathetic looks from Fenris Anders found the malevolent glares and cold indifference he was getting now too much to bear. Fenris also baited him with words, trying to draw him into an argument. Anders didn’t know if he frustrated the elf but he said nothing to him the entire night.

Anders had finally figured out how to tell Hawke no. It had nothing to do with the man and everything to do with the prickly, elf-shaped shadow he seemed to have acquired. Every time Hawke needed him Fenris was standing just inside the doorway glaring at him. That one time had been enough for him and Anders steadfastly refused to go with Hawke as long as Fenris was present. He hadn’t gone to card night at the Hanged Man either. Fenris would be there to make his life even more miserable. Hawke, Varric and possibly Isabela were the only people that seemed to like him anyway so it was really no great loss. His refusal to be anywhere Fenris was had left him alone in the clinic for nearly two weeks.

There were always people to heal and without Fenris at the clinic he was able to help the Mage Underground more. Anders had told them of the great number of Tranquil at the Gallows that day and had been tasked with finding out why. He didn’t dare go there himself but had employed an army of Darktown’s children to question and snoop. Anders knew that even the Templars wouldn’t hurt children, but he made sure none he sent were mages. One name came up with alarming frequency. Anders knew he needed to find out more about this Ser Alrik.

Right now, however, he was trying to come up with another excuse that Hawke might believe. Isabela leaned against the wall with her arms folded behind her head and Fenris stood just inside the doorway glaring at him as usual. Anders ignored him, as usual, and watched Hawke pace.

“Anders you’ve been down here nearly a month!” Hawke exclaimed.

“This is the only place I feel safe,” Anders said turning around to the bandages he’d been folding before Hawke had come in.

“You’ve always been safe with me before. Carver’s told me they’re only just now investigating the missing Templars,” Hawke said angrily.

“They won’t find anything anyway,” Isabela said.

Anders shook his head and continued to fold the bandages. There was a sudden flurry of activity behind him and a hand on his shoulder wrenched him around. Mere inches separated Hawke’s face from his.

“Look at me damn it!” Hawke said. “You won’t come to the Hanged Man, you won’t go anywhere with me, you’ve isolated yourself and you refuse to let anyone help you! I know Varric’s been down here to talk with you and you won’t even speak with him! You’re pale and too thin. Talk to me!”

It took a lot to get Hawke angry. But Anders could see the deep concern in his eyes through the anger. He looked over Hawke’s shoulder at Fenris still leaning in the doorway. How was he supposed to explain that all of a sudden the opinion of someone he’d hated now mattered too much? He didn’t understand it himself. Anders closed his eyes and sighed.

Hawke followed his gaze to the elf standing in the doorway. He nodded in sudden understanding. “Isabela, get his staff,” Hawke said.

Anders’ eyes flew open as he was picked up and draped over Hawke’s shoulder like a rag doll. “Put me down!” he squeaked indignantly.

“Maker’s Breath Anders. You’re as light as those feathers on your coat. Have you been eating anything?” Hawke said.

Arms wrapped around his thighs as Hawke started walking. “Hawke!” he exclaimed. They were nearing the door and Anders struggled but Hawke only tightened his grip. “All right, I’ll go! Just put me down!”

Hawke bent slightly and dropped him to the floor, a grin spreading quickly across his face. Anders huffed as he straightened his coat. Isabela held out his staff with a shrug and a smirk.

“After we find Isabela’s relic, you’re coming home with me and were going to have some of Mother’s fine Fereldan cooking,” Hawke said still grinning.

Anders glared at Hawke and snatched his staff from Isabela. She sauntered around them and Anders turned toward the door. Fenris scowled at him for a second before following Isabela. He glared at the elf’s back suddenly angry. After all, he’d never done anything to him to warrant such hostility. Hawke pushed him forward gently and they followed after shutting up the clinic and blowing out the lantern.

He watched the ground at Isabela’s feet as they walked, not really caring where they were going. Hawke never strayed from his side and Fenris was a cold presence ahead of him. Even though he hadn’t wanted to be out here in the first place he began to grudgingly admit to himself that maybe Hawke was right.

By hiding in his clinic he had managed to avoid Fenris and dealing with this…whatever it was with the broody elf. Why should he care what Fenris thinks? Child Fenris and adult Fenris were truly two different people. This Fenris would never accept him. He would only ever see an abomination. It hadn’t bothered him like this before and he decided he wasn’t going to let it bother him now.

Feeling a bit better he began paying more attention to his surroundings. They were currently in a sandy valley heading toward the Wounded Coast. Isabela and Fenris stopped abruptly as the path ahead of them filled with men. Hawke stepped forward to Fenris’ other side.

“Hunters,” Fenris growled quietly.

“Stop right there!” said one of them as he stepped forward. “You are in possession of stolen property. Back away from the slave now and you’ll be spared.”

Surprising even himself Anders yelled angrily, “He’s not a slave!” Seconds later he launched a fireball between Isabela and Fenris that exploded on the man who’d spoken in a shower of flames.

Isabela darted forward with a laugh drawing her blades. Hawke took a few steps back and used his force magic to draw a bunch of them together. While they were still trying to stand again Anders put a paralysis glyph under their feet. Anders saw Fenris look back once, a stunned expression on his face, before drawing his sword and joining the fight.


	17. Chapter 17

“I gave her a job Fenris,” Hawke said irritably.

“Ah, that’s good. My apologies,” Fenris said.

“Be patient with her Hawke,” Anders said.

Fenris turned to look at him and found him looking back, his expression unreadable. Since that first battle on the Wounded Coast that _he_ had started, the Mage had been just as angry as he was. It was a bit confusing but Fenris pushed it away again. He could deal with the Mage’s strange behavior after Hadriana was dead.

He cleared his throat. “We must hurry,” he said walking forward.

There were more guards and corpses to fight but they quickly dispatched them like they had the others. Soon enough they rounded a corner and Fenris ran forward, his blade drawn, and a cry on his lips. Shades and demons were summoned but Fenris focused on the hated Magistar in front of him. Even with all the power she held, she was still no match for them. Soon enough, with everything dead and Hadriana on the ground before him, Fenris raised his blade.

“Stop! You do not want me dead!” she cried out.

“There is only one person I want dead more!” Fenris snarled.

“I have information elf.”

“The location of Danarius? What good does that do me? I’d rather he lose his pet pupil.”

“You have a sister!”

Fenris shook his head suddenly and took a step backwards. He dropped his sword and it clattered to the ground behind him as memories swirled around in his mind. Closing his eyes and pressing his hands to his temples, he tried to shut out the memory. Hadriana must be dealt with first! Vaguely he heard Hawke calling his name, but Fenris was lost inside his mind, the memory wouldn’t be denied.

He sees himself, just a child, kneeling in front of Hawke’s hearth in his study wearing nothing but a blanket and strangely the abomination’s coat. He remembers the warmth and heaviness of the coat. The feathers tickling his cheek and the relief he’d felt at being allowed to stay with his Master…the mage, the hated abomination, a healer.

The Mage, Master, are you ready to answer some questions, be honest, you won’t be in trouble. Himself, swiping at tears on his cheeks, yes Master, and he’s looking up at Master. He’s actually looking up at his Master, something unforgivable. A smile, warm, inviting, lighting up his warm brown eyes. Where were you before you woke here, and he answers without hesitation. Minrathous Master, with my mother and sister, and he remembers her.

Younger than he is, red hair, eyes the same shade as his own, a smile on her young face, but he can’t remember her name. Fenris growls as he opens his eyes when the memory finally dissipates and releases him. He looks for Hadriana first but she isn’t in front of him anymore. The others are clustered around him and he shoves one of them aside, frantically looking for her. She had used his lapse to try and escape but she didn’t go far. Halfway to the door face down with one of Isabela’s daggers lodged in her back and she wasn’t moving.

“Fenris, what...” Hawke starts.

Holding up a hand to silence him, Fenris looks around and see’s the Mage dusting himself off. Two quick strides and he shoved the Mage against the wall, his markings flaring to life. With one hand Fenris loosely grabbed his throat and the other hovered over his heart.

“You knew!” he snarled. “I told you I had a sister. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Would you have believed me?” Anders said calmly. “You won’t even believe Hawke that I never hurt you.”

Fenris stepped back and the markings flickered out. He hadn’t believed Hawke, he was sure that the Mage would not have wasted such an opportunity to torment him…would he? Suddenly he was more confused than he had been before.

The Mage had followed him. “You’ve never given me a chance! Just assumed I was like _her_!” He spat the last word venomously and flung his arm out to point at the dead Magistar.

“Stop this, both of you!” Hawke said stepping forward between them. “There will be no more glowing from either of you.” He gave each of them a hard look.

Fenris turned and walked to the exit in measured strides after collecting his sword. He couldn’t let them see how badly this one memory had confused him.

“Varania.”

“What?” said Fenris. He turned slightly and saw that the Mage hadn’t moved.

“Her name,” he said calmly. “You never volunteered any other information and I thought it best not to ask. Every time your past was brought up you got so distressed.”

“I believe you,” Fenris said just as calmly after a moment of thought. Before any of them could stop him, Fenris turned and left. There was now a name to go with the half remembered face. Something had clicked and he knew that the Mage was right. Fenris needed to think and for that he needed to be alone.

As he walked Fenris thought of what he’d remembered. The relief he had felt had been almost overwhelming. He truly hadn’t remembered anything of his adult life or he wouldn’t have been relieved to stay with an abomination. That hadn’t even been the strangest thing. He’d been looking at the Mage. Slaves were not supposed to look directly at their masters. Even when Danarius had commanded him to look Fenris never truly did. He had looked over the man’s shoulder as was appropriate, never directly at him.

It was the smile that he kept focusing on though. Fenris couldn’t remember ever seeing the Mage smile. Maybe that was because they were always scowling or glaring at each other. He shook his head as he climbed the steps. None of this explained his actions on the Wounded Coast or his anger in the caves. It was a riddle that Fenris wanted to solve. Perhaps there were more clues in the foggy blanks in his memory.

Fenris opened the door to his crumbling mansion and stepped inside. He took a few steps forward, intending to go to the wine cellar but stopped as another memory gripped him. Why now, he thought, but he didn’t fight it. After all, he wanted to know what had happened.

Himself, just a child, standing in much the same place he is now. He’s looking at his feet, ashamed of another rule broken but not afraid of being punished. Not afraid of the Mage, Master, at all really but he is afraid. He’s afraid of everyone else, Sebastian standing just behind Master who is kneeling in front of him. Of Hawke standing just to the side of Sebastian and all the others lurking in a nearby doorway but scared the most of what is being said. Talk of freedom and he’s not a slave and it’s frightening.

Master is in front of him, Fenris look at me please. He knows Master will not speak until he does but it’s still so hard to look at him. When he does look up Master continues, you have something to say. Yes Master, do you remember my promise that I wouldn’t hurt you or let anyone else hurt you, yes Master.

Fenris is stunned and falls to his knees with a gasp but this memory isn’t finished yet. Then don’t be afraid, and that smile again. It’s warm, comforting, a promise that makes the harsh angles of his face just a bit softer. Say what you want, Master standing and then standing next to him. A step forward, still hesitant, still unsure but knowing Master won’t let Sebastian hurt him. It gives him courage, if I am free…still so scared…then I choose who I am. Well yes, Sebastian is confused. Then I choose to be Master’s slave, defiant, this is what he wants. He wants the safety his Master has promised him not some abstract frightening idea.

Finally it fades and Fenris is numb. They were right and he had been wrong. He had insisted on staying with the Mage. Declaring his status as a slave in front of everyone and he had wanted it that way. But the promise…had he kept his promise? A more recent memory floated to the surface of his thoughts.

It was the memory of waking in Hawke’s home not too long ago, of when they had first told him this unbelievable story. He had been angry that Hawke would have left him with the one person that had so much reason to hurt and humiliate him. Fenris remembered the shocked hurt on the Mage’s face when he had accused him and suddenly he knew. Without remembering anything else he knew that the promise had been kept.


	18. Chapter 18

Fenris spent the next couple of days wandering throughout Kirkwall hoping and dreading that he would remember more. It seemed that the first memory had broken a damn because he remembered much more. Time spent assisting the Mage at his clinic and only doing work one would expect of a slave when there was nothing else to do. Even that had been discouraged by the Mage but Fenris was never hurt or even spoken to harshly if he continued.

While walking down the stairs that led to the Chantry courtyard he remembered when he’d first woke. Wrapped only in a blanket and being carried by the Mage, he woke confused and scared. He was glad the Mage forced him to stand and walk beside him. It was surprising how quickly the child accepted the name Fenris. Of course he knew that ‘Fenris’ had been the name Danarius gave him but he could almost remember the name of that boy. It stayed frustratingly just out of reach.

Later he would remember a fight in the Chantry courtyard. Simple thugs that had been dispatched quickly but he’d been impressed by the Mage’s skill. A templar near the keep sparked an image of standing behind him with one hand wrapped around the Mage’s belt. They were being confronted by Carver and Knight-Captain Cullen. He had gone to the Gallows immediately hoping to find more of the memory.

As he leaned against a pillar he had watched the Tranquil in the courtyard. There seemed to be more of them than usual. He thought nothing of it until he remembered being in the Mage’s clinic and asking about the people with the sun tattoos. The anger from the Mage wasn’t surprising. It was the remembered horror that surprised him, how cruel he’d thought it was as a child.

Tranquility was a useful tool he had thought up until that very moment. A tool to be used on mages who could not control themselves he’d thought. Until he had pictured that blank stare that they all shared first on Hawke and then the Mage. Two men so full of life being reduced to sweeping stone cobbles or selling trinkets, it bothered him in a way he hadn’t thought possible. Even the thought of the dangerous rebel abomination with that mark and that blank look bothered him. Fenris didn’t really understand why and he didn’t care to. He’d left the Gallows and returned home after that.

Now he sat on his bed with a bottle of wine and he compared what he had remembered of the Mage to what he knew of the Magistars that had tormented him. His child self hadn’t been afraid of the Mage. He had been encouraged to look and to speak, things that would have gotten him a beating or worse from his former Master. He was always kind and hardly even raised his voice. They were cruel and sadistic.

His child self’s image of the Mage didn’t match what Fenris knew of mages. It didn’t really match what Fenris had thought of him before either. Had he been wrong from the start? Is this willingness to help others with no thought for his well being what Hawke had seen in the Mage? Did his own hatred of mages run so deep that he’d been blind?

Fenris drained the last of the bottle and flung it across the room irritated at himself. The Mage had already proven his foolishness by allowing the demon to posses him. Reasons didn’t matter. It was a stupid and dangerous thing to do. He was an abomination! Why should his actions when Fenris was stuck as a child make him second guess himself now? The Mage was dangerous and couldn’t be trusted. He flopped down onto his back and rolled onto his side. Fenris closed his eyes hoping for sleep to wash away doubts. It was slow in coming and his rest was not peaceful. He was haunted by a smile and warm brown eyes.

Most of the next day was spent at home trying and failing to deal with the conflicting thoughts and emotions that filled him. Had the Mage proved himself trustworthy? He’d kept the promise he made and Fenris remembered nothing but kindness and patience from him. How could he even think about trusting an abomination? He’d already sought power and he would eventually seek more.

His thoughts ran in circles much like his body circled the mansion while he thought. It was frustrating and he was getting nowhere. Finally he left and walked quickly to Hawke’s estate. Maybe speaking with him about this mess in his mind would help clear it.

The door was answered by Bodahn shortly after he’d knocked. “I’m sorry Messere but the master of the house isn’t here right now,” he said.

Fenris brushed past the dwarf and said, “I’ll wait.” He sat on one of the benches in the entry hall.

“Would you like some tea, Messere?” Bodahn asked nervously.

“Nothing thanks,” Fenris replied shortly.

Bodahn gave him a little bow and hurried back into the house. Fenris hadn’t been waiting for very long when the door opened and admitted a tired looking Hawke.

“Hawke,” Fenris said as he stood.

“Fenris,” Hawke said crossing his arms over his chest. “Something on your mind?”

“Yes…I have begun remembering the time I spent as a child,” he began. Now that he was here, he wasn’t quite sure what he wanted to say.

“And…,” Hawke prompted when Fenris failed to say any more.

“I am…confused. He didn’t hurt or humiliate me when he had many chances and reasons to.” Fenris began to pace back and forth in front of Hawke as he spoke. “I don’t understand…”

“Anders isn’t a bad person Fenris. Evil people don’t live in Darktown healing the sick for nothing.”

“It’s not that exactly. I’ve never known…a mage that treated me like…that,” Fenris said hesitantly.

“What, with kindness?” Hawke snorted. One hand moved to rest on his hip and the other he pressed to his heart. “Fenris I’m wounded. Don’t I count?” he added dramatically.

“You are not an abomination,” Fenris growled irritably.

“Ah-hah! So that’s what this is about,” Hawke exclaimed. He took a step closer to Fenris and the hand over his heart he used to point at Fenris. “When you were still a child we told you about Justice eventually. You admitted to being scared and stayed with him anyway. Anders asked you directly if you wanted to stay here or stay with him. You choose Anders even though you knew he was an abomination. So tell me Fenris, what did little you know that big you forgot?”

To say that he was stunned would have been a gross understatement. Fenris took a few steps back and sat heavily on the bench. He’d been wondering if they had told his child self about the Mage’s pet demon. They had told him and he still stayed with him? What had he been thinking? Maybe if he could remember this one thing…

“Where,” he croaked. Fenris cleared his throat and tried again. “Where did we have this discussion?”

“In the kitchen.”

“Take me there…please.”

“This way,” Hawke said and gestured through the door. 

He walked into the house and Fenris followed him to the kitchen. Hawke remained standing just inside the doorway and Fenris continued on into the room. As he had hoped, just being there triggered the memory. Taking another step forward, Fenris gripped the back of the chair the Mage had been sitting in that day.

The Mage, Master, sitting across from him speaking. Fenris I’m possessed by a spirit of Justice that’s what happens when you see the blue it’s him coming out. Silence, staring at one another, Master exasperated. Well nothing to say and Fenris says the first thing he can think of, you don’t look like an abomination Master. Master is confused…you’re not frightened or angry?

A little scared Master but you’ve never hurt me. It would be foolish of him to not be scared but Master had kept his promise, treated him like a person…a friend even, never punished once. Would you rather stay here with Hawke and Master looks nervous, maybe even a little frightened. No Master, no hesitation and Master is…relieved?

“He…he was relieved,” Fenris said softly.

“Yes he was,” Hawke said from directly behind him.

Fenris turned to him and said, “Why? I was a burden!”

“Perhaps you should ask Anders that question,” Hawke said quietly.

He straightened himself and shook his head. “Thank you Hawke, I…will think about it,” he said.

“You’re welcome, Fenris,” Hawke said. “I’d offer you a room for the night but I don’t think you’d take it.”

“No, I wish to be home right now.”

“I trust you can find your own way out then,” Hawke said through a yawn. “Save some thugs for me.”

Hawke waved at him as he turned and left. Fenris stood there for a few moments before he too left. He raced back to his mansion, undressed and fell into a fitful sleep. It took him three more days and several more memories to decide that he did need to speak with…him. He stood just outside the clinic. The doors were closed but the lamps were lit. Fenris took a deep breath to steady his racing heartbeat and gripped the door handle.


	19. Chapter 19

Anders sat at his desk frowning over the two letters that sat atop it. One of them was old, a letter he’d found on one of the Templars that attacked them when they went to rescue Karl. The other was new, from one of his contacts inside the circle. The old letter contained orders from Ser Alrik to ‘take care’ of Karl and any of his friends. The second letter was truly horrifying.

This Templar wanted to use the Rite of Tranquility on every mage in the Free Marches. The proposal had been taken to Meredith but no one knew if she would accept or reject the idea. The thought of this Tranquil Solution being carried out made his blood run cold. Ser Alrik needed to be taken care of…and soon.

The door to his clinic opened and Anders quickly scooped up the letters and folded them. He turned toward the door and tucked them into a pocket of his coat. Anders stood as Fenris shut the door behind him.

“What do you want?” he asked coldly.

“I wish to speak with you,” Fenris answered calmly. “I’ve been remembering many things from when I was turned into a child.”

“Oh,” Anders said. He tried to squash the hope that rose up unbidden in his chest. “What did you want to talk about?”

Fenris shuffled his feet nervously before he took a couple of steps forward into the clinic. “Thank you,” he said as calmly as he had before. “You kept your promise.”

“You’re welcome,” Anders said. He watched Fenris take another step forward. There was now just an arm’s length between them. “Just how much have you remembered?”

“I’m not sure,” Fenris replied frowning. “It’s all mixed up. I remember…being here and helping you, telling Sebastian that I wanted to remain, the Gallows, the Hanged Man and all of their stories. I asked you many questions but…I would like to ask you one more.”

“All right,” Anders said. He couldn’t quite keep the suspicion he felt out of his voice.

Fenris took another little step forward. He was close enough to kiss now. Oh Maker where did that come from, he thought. Anders crossed his arms over his chest and took a small step backwards.

“Why?” Fenris asked, his voice just as calm as before. After spending nearly two weeks in his presence Anders knew he was nervous. He saw it in the constant shuffle of his feet and the way his eyes wouldn’t remain still. “Why did you let…it…in?”

“Are you talking about Justice?” Anders asked.

Fenris nodded and Anders sighed. He turned away from the elf and walked to a nearby cot and sat on the edge of it. He’d already told Fenris much of his life and he suspected that the elf was remembering bits of those long conversations. Justice hadn’t been brought up when Fenris was still a child. Anders scrubbed his face with his hands while he thought of just how to answer him. After a moment he looked up and began speaking.

“Justice was trapped outside the Fade in the corpse of a Grey Warden. He couldn’t go back and the body continued to decay. It…was disgusting. We didn’t know what would happen when the body he possessed decayed completely. We thought…a living host, a willing participant…it had to be better than playing the demon and haunting some corpse. I just wanted to help but…it didn’t work quite the way we’d expected.”

“You wished to help? A demon?” Fenris said skeptically.

“Justice is a spirit, _not_ a demon,” Anders said through clenched teeth. “Spirit Healers like me know the most about spirits and I guess I was overconfident. Thought I knew what would happen. We thought we could handle any unknown’s that cropped up.”

Fenris began pacing. Anders watched him and tried to calm himself and the angry spirit inside. Fenris had come here looking for answers and Anders wasn’t willing to damage what little he’d gained by losing control now.

Suddenly Fenris stopped moving. He cocked his head to the side and his eyes focused on something that Anders couldn’t see. After a moment he said, “Fenris?” He couldn’t hide the concern he felt and started to stand.

“I’m…all right,” Fenris said and motioned for him to stay seated.

Anders sat back down and watched Fenris curiously. He was looking at his hands, a puzzled expression on his face. Fenris nodded, almost like he’d come to a decision, and began removing the wicked clawed gauntlets he always wore.

“You know,” he said conversationally. “You would not last long in Tevinter.”

The gauntlets were set on the desk and Anders felt momentary panic when Fenris drew his sword. It was a fleeting panic because Fenris propped it next to his staff that leaned against the wall near his desk.

“Why wouldn’t I last long?” he asked curiously.

“You are far too kind,” Fenris said as he turned and walked toward Anders. “You allowed yourself to become an abomination to help a friend.”

He now stood directly in front of Anders. Rather than crane his neck to look up at him, Anders scooted backwards on the cot. Anders’ eyes widened in surprise as Fenris crawled up on the cot after him and placed his hands on his shoulders. Fenris gently pushed and Anders lay back on the cot. With his knees to either side of Anders’ hips, Fenris was sitting on his lap.

“Fenris what…” Anders began in confusion. He gripped the sides of the cot with his hands.

“Shhh,” Fenris said. “I won’t harm you.”

Anders fell silent and he watched. Fenris was leaning over him with one hand resting lightly on his chest. The other he brought up to hover over Anders’ cheek. When Fenris finally touched his cheek, Anders gasped. The warmth he’d felt before when he’d touched the lyrium markings spread from his cheek were Fenris touched him. The tingling pulses were slow and steady.

He watched the markings light up along his arm and begin to spread across his chest. “Give me your hands,” he said calmly.

It was an order, but Anders found himself following it without question. As soon as his hands were free of the cot, Fenris threaded their fingers together and moved them to rest on the cot to either side of his head. The warmth spread faster but the tingling pulses didn’t change at all. Fenris’ markings glowed white and pulsed rapidly along with his racing heart.

“Does…this happen when you touch any mage?” Anders asked feeling slightly breathless.

“No,” Fenris answered, calm and just as steady as before. “Just you.”

“What does…it feel like?”

The pulses sped up just a bit. “It’s…hard to describe. Denarius would sometimes punish me by giving me pain through the markings. But this…feels _very_ pleasant.”

Anders felt blood rushing to his nether regions from the intimate position and feelings he’d been trying to forget. He tried to shift away but the elf might as well have been made from stone. There was no way Fenris could miss his growing erection and Anders thought he was probably blushing.

“Fenris…” Anders said trying to dislodge him again.

He leaned down further, smirking, and rolled his hips once. Anders groaned softly at Fenris’ arousal and at the wonderful but brief feeling of their cocks coming together through their clothes. He tried to thrust his hips up but Fenris pressed his knees closer, keeping them still.

“What do you want?” Anders asked in frustration.

“You,” Fenris said calmly, but the pulses sped up a bit more. “I shouldn’t…but I do. A mage who keeps his word, who puts others before himself…even when he will be harmed in the process.” Fenris leaned down further. “You need a keeper Mage.”

There was none of the normal venom in his last statement. It should have been irritating…but it wasn’t. He should hate this elf…but he couldn’t. The affection he could hear in that statement should probably disgust him…but it didn’t. Anders didn’t know how or when it had happened, but he realized that he wanted Fenris too. Justice was a calm, happy knot of feelings in the back of his mind. He hadn’t felt this peaceful since they’d joined.

Anders closed the small amount of space between them and pressed a light kiss to his lips. Fenris’ eyes widened a little as he let his head fall back to the cot. “Are you offering?” he asked.

Fenris leaned down and kissed him. It was full of passion. When Anders felt his tongue slide across his lips, he parted them immediately. As Fenris plundered his mouth he tugged on one of his hands. He wanted to touch, to run his fingers through that soft looking white hair but Fenris only tightened his grip.

Anders whimpered a little when Fenris pulled back. “What were you reading?” he asked.

“Um,” Anders said stupidly, more than a little confused by the sudden change in topic. “Letters.”

Fenris sat upright and pulled Anders up with him. He released Anders’ hands and rested his arms on his shoulders. Anders couldn’t stop the shiver that went through him as the heat fled and left cold in its wake. He was suddenly grateful for the heat that seemed to be radiating off of the elf still sitting in his lap.

“What’s wrong?” Fenris asked immediately.

“Nothing,” Anders said as he tentatively rested his hands on Fenris’ thighs. “It happened before too.”

Fenris looked skeptical but didn’t press. “What was in the letter? You looked…frightened.”

Anders told him what he’d discovered about Ser Alrik and the Tranquil Solution. Fenris listened patiently and he was surprised to find that Fenris looked just as disturbed about it as he was. “Something must be done. I know how to get in but…I can’t confront him alone,” he finished.

“You are set on this?” Fenris asked.

“I have always feared being made Tranquil,” Anders said quietly. “Now more than ever.” After a short pause he added, “Yes I’m set. No one should ever have to go through that.”

“Let’s find Hawke then,” said Fenris as he finally stood.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More violence. Still not very graphic. Just not good at it. =)

Fenris cleaned his blade from the last round of lyrium smugglers. The last time he’d been in these caves there had been far less of them. It hadn’t taken them long to find Hawke. He hadn’t said anything about their showing up together but Isabela had been smirking with a knowing glint in her eyes. A glare from both of them had curbed her tongue though.

Hawke had eagerly agreed to help and had insisted that they go immediately. Fenris had many reservations about sneaking two mages into the Gallows but he’d kept them to himself. It had been his suggestion but he knew that the Mage…his Mage, Anders, wouldn’t have let it go. So he hadn’t said what a bad idea he’d thought looking for one Templar in a building full of them with two mages in tow was. Fenris didn’t want this Templar’s plan moving forward any more than Anders did but this seemed pure foolishness. He could only hope that Hawke’s uncanny luck would lead them right to Alrik.

He was grateful that Isabela had been with Hawke when they’d found him and not the witch or one of the archers. Another set of blades between the Templars and the mages would be very welcome in the fight that was inevitably going to happen.

Sheathing his sword he stood and looked around. They were nearing the room where he and Anders had met the two mages and the Templar all those weeks ago. He walked forward to the path that would lead them to the Gallows and stopped when he heard voices. Motioning for the others to join him, they quietly entered the next chamber.

A young girl with dark hair and skin had been backed against the rock wall near the stairs. Templars surrounded her, luckily with their backs to the new comers.

“No. Please I haven’t done anything wrong!” she pleaded.

“That’s a lie,” said the one Templar that wasn’t wearing his helmet. “What do we do to mages who lie?” There was a slimy quality to his voice that set Fenris on edge.

“I just wanted to see my Mum. No one ever told her where they were taking me!”

Beside him Fenris saw a flash of blue and heard Anders say quietly, “No…No this is their place. We cannot…”

“So you admit your attempted escape. You know what happens to mage girls who don’t toe the line around here, don’t you.”

“Please no! Don’t make me Tranquil! I’ll do anything!”

Fenris had heard enough. He drew his sword and ran forward with a snarl, letting his markings turn him into a ghost. The mage girl screamed and the helmetless Templar half turned and managed to deflect his blow. He focused his fury on the Templar in front of him while magic exploded around him and Isabela danced around them all with her lethal daggers. 

The Templar matched him blow for blow but Fenris was quicker and younger. He wore at the older man until he finally gave Fenris the small chance he needed. Fenris plunged his hand into the Templar’s chest and crushed his heart. He fell with a strangled cry as Fenris turned to see the last standing Templar fall.

The mage girl was huddled on the ground holding her hands up fearfully. “Stay away demon!” she cried.

Anders had let the demon out despite his earlier negation and it now stalked forward towards the girl. “I am no demon…” it said in that deep, echoing voice.

Fenris hurried forward and placed himself between them. “You aren’t needed here _demon_ ,” he interrupted. He still held his sword but he straightened and let the tip of it rest on the ground. 

“Move elf. I do not wish to harm you.”

“And what do you intend to do to her, demon.” Fenris knew provoking it wasn’t wise but he couldn’t let this creature harm the girl. That would hurt Anders and he wasn’t going to let this thing rule his mage any longer. The staff was still clutched tightly in Anders’ hands and even with just swirls of blue for eyes Fenris knew that it was angry and capable of anything.

“I am not a demon,” it hissed angrily.

“Fenris,” Hawke said. “I don’t think making him mad is a really good idea.”

“If it attacks me then even the Mage will have to admit it’s a demon,” Fenris said. He lifted his sword and shifted his stance to be ready for an attack. “You protected me once. Will you break his word now demon?”

It took an aggressive step forward but stopped suddenly. In a little puff of black smoke the cracks closed up and sealed the demon inside once more. Fenris let his sword tip rest on the ground once more and reached out to Anders.

Anders stepped back and let go of his staff letting it clatter to the ground between them. “Oh, Maker no!” he said in a quiet but horrified voice.

Fenris saw the fear in his eyes but he wasn’t sure what he was afraid of. “Anders…” he began.

“No!” Anders said taking another shaky step backwards. “I…I have to get out of here!”

He brushed past Hawke and Isabela as he ran and Fenris watched in confusion. Was Anders scared of him or something else? Fenris picked up the staff Anders had left behind as Hawke and Isabela came up to him.

“Well? What are you waiting for?” Isabela said gesturing in the direction Anders had fled.

“Go after him Fenris,” Hawke said. “We’ll search these Templars for evidence.”

“Why did he run from me? I told him that I wouldn’t hurt him.” Fenris said.

“He almost hurt you…he’s upset,” Hawke said.

“Be the friend he needs right now Fenris,” Isabela said giving him a small push.

Fenris looked back at them and Isabela waved her hands in a little shooing motion. He turned and sheathed his sword then hurried after Anders. When he reached Darktown again, the Mage was nowhere in sight. It only took him a moment to figure out where he would have gone. The place he felt safest.

He hurried to the clinic and found the lamps unlit but the door was opened slightly. Stepping inside he quietly shut the door behind him. Fenris walked to the curtained off area in the back and found him. Anders sat on the floor beside his cot, a chest sitting open in front of him. His knees were close to his chest with his arms wrapped around them and his chin resting on his knees.

“You’re right,” he said quietly without turning around. “I’m nothing but a monster.”

Fenris propped the staff and his sword next to the cot. He sank to his knees behind Anders. “I saved your life once,” he said just as quietly.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have,” Anders said miserably. “He’s…I’m dangerous. When I think of what could have happened…how can I trust myself to heal anymore, what if that creature…what if I turn on a patient?”

“You must control it,” Fenris said wrapping his arms around the mage and resting his head on his shoulder. “You cannot run from this.”

“No, I guess I can’t,” said Anders. After a moment’s silence he added, “Fenris, why are you here? I could have…”

“You didn’t though,” Fenris said after Anders fell quiet. “I told you Mage, you need a keeper,” he added with an affectionate chuckle.

Anders took one of his hands and turned it over. Fenris watched as he touched the lyrium markings on his palm. He sighed as the pleasurable tingling moved along the markings, pulsing slow and steady.

“I’d rather have a partner,” said Anders cautiously. “If you still want me.”

“You have many good qualities that I didn’t see before. I think you are worth the trouble your demon causes.”

“I can’t give up on the mages, Fenris.”

“You wish to make their lives better? Then we shall find a way without risking the rest of Thedas becoming another Imperium.”

Fenris felt his mage finally relax against him. Anders ran his fingers along the lines of lyrium on his palm. After a moment of silence he asked, “Is the girl all right?”

“I didn’t see her. I imagine Hawke will send her away after he searches the Templars.”

They heard the door to the clinic open and Anders pulled his hand away immediately. Fenris felt the shiver that ran through him. He was curious but said nothing as they helped each other up.

“Hello!” Hawke called out. “Anders! Fenris!”

“Here,” Anders called back as they stepped out from behind the curtain.

“How disappointing,” Isabela pouted.

“Disappointing?” Anders asked in confusion.

“You still have all your clothes on. I was hoping he’d have gotten you out of that coat at least,” she replied with a smirk. 

Anders glared and Hawke chuckled. “Now Isabela,” Hawke chided. “We aren’t here to invade their privacy.”

“Spoilsport,” Isabela sniffed.

“Did you find anything?” Anders asked anxiously.

“We did,” Hawke said seriously. “A letter.” He held it out to them. “It was Ser Alrik’s plan and no one else’s.” Because he was slightly closer, Fenris took it and handed it to Anders. He unfolded the letter and began reading.

“Meredith…rejected the Idea! Grand Cleric Elthina rejected it as well!” Anders exclaimed in surprise.

“Perhaps we could speak with the Grand Cleric,” Fenris said thoughtfully.

“It…would be a start. Maybe she’s more reasonable than I thought,” said Anders.

“Now that that’s settled, you should join us for drinks at the Hanged Man. Varric will want to hear about my latest adventure.” Hawke said cheerfully.

“We will be along later,” Fenris said.

“Right, we’ll see you there,” Hawke said as he pulled Isabela out the door.

Fenris stepped forward and locked the doors. He turned around and leaned on one of them as he began removing his gauntlets. Anders folded the letter and it went in the pocket of his coat with the one’s he’d been reading earlier. “Why later?” he asked.

“There is something else I would like to discuss with you,” Fenris said stepping forward.

“What would that be?” Anders asked nervously.

Fenris set his gauntlets down on the desk and moved to stand in front of Anders. As he spoke, he began working on the buckles of Anders’ coat. “I don’t really want to stay in the mansion…there’s no way of knowing how many more traps are there.”

“Where would you go?” Anders asked as he shrugged out of his coat, setting it on the desk.

Anders worked on the buckles and straps of Fenris’ armor, all trace of his nerves gone. “I was hoping,” Fenris said resting his hands on his hips. “That you would let me stay here.” The mansion had grown uncomfortable. Fenris hadn’t lied about not wanting to find anymore traps but that wasn’t the whole reason for him wanting to be here in Darktown. He wasn’t about to tell Anders that it would also be easier to keep him out of trouble if they lived together, though.

The mage paused for only a moment before he removed the spiky shoulders and chest piece of his armor. They joined his gauntlets on the desk before Anders spoke again. “It’s…been lonely here…without you.”

With Anders’ hands resting on his shoulders, Fenris gathered the hem of his shirt in his hands. “There are no objections then?” he asked.

“None,” Anders said firmly before bending slightly and pressing their lips together.


	21. Chapter 21

Anders ran a hand through Fenris’ hair as he parted his lips. It was as soft as it looked. Their tongues chased each other until he finally pulled back, sucking on Fenris’ lower lip as they both panted. Fenris pulled his shirt up and Anders raised his arms. The shirt was dropped to the floor and Anders worked the catches on Fenris’ shirt. It soon joined his on the floor.

When he was finally free of the shirt, Fenris wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled Anders close. He gasped as the warmth spread throughout him quickly. With one arm around his waist holding them together, their bare chests pressed together Anders could feel every one of Fenris’ markings in the quick but steady pulses.

He clutched Fenris’ arms desperately as his knees went weak. Fenris supported him easily and Anders felt his other hand at the back of his head. A chaste kiss on his lips, one along his jaw line as Fenris gently moved his head to the side. Anders squeezed the strong arms under his hands and closed his eyes as Fenris kissed his way down his neck.

Groans escaped him when Fenris bit and sucked his neck in a very visible spot. There would be marks left but Anders didn’t care. He knew he wouldn’t heal them either.

“Fenris,” Anders breathed.

A pleased rumble was his only response. His kisses trailed along Anders’ shoulder. Fenris carefully walked him backwards until his knees hit the edge of a cot. Anders sat and was gently pushed back. He ran his hands lightly down Fenris’ back and rested them on his firm arse. Another pleased rumble as he squeezed and pushed them together, Anders groaned softly at the hardness he felt.

“Please,” he whispered.

Fenris sat up running his hands on Anders’ chest, through the golden hair that disappeared under his waist band. He moved his own hands to rest on Fenris’ hips.

“What do you wish my mage?” Fenris asked his voice husky.

“You,” Anders replied breathlessly. His hands roamed Fenris’ bare chest. The markings were everywhere, swirling like vines around his defined muscles. He traced the markings that curled around his nipples. “Fill me…fuck me…Maker you’re beautiful.”

Fenris leaned down, brushing a stray lock of hair away from his face and they kissed, slow and passionate. A need for air finally broke them apart and Anders whimpered as Fenris pulled away completely. Anders shivered as the warmth fled but Fenris was looking around the clinic and didn’t see it. He could probably feel it though as close as they still were. 

“I need…” Fenris started.

“Healing potion,” Anders said partially sitting up.

“Take your boots off,” Fenris said with a smile.

He stood and went right to the crate with the elfroot potions. Anders frantically worked the buckles on his boots and left them on the floor where they fell. Scooting backward so that he was laying fully on the cot he loosened the laces on his trousers. Fenris appeared next to him as he sighed in relief. He climbed onto the cot, placing the bottle between his legs and ran his hands up Anders’ thighs.

Light kisses were being pressed to his stomach as Fenris hooked his fingers into the waistband of Anders’ trousers. Anders lifted his hips when Fenris sat up and pulled his trousers down and off. The process was repeated with his small clothes. His cock sprang free and Anders gripped the edge of the cot to keep from touching himself.

He watched Fenris back off of the cot and his leggings soon joined the rest of their clothes on the floor. Anders was pleased to discover that the lyrium markings weren’t quite everywhere. He didn’t want to imagine how much that would have hurt. Fenris’ erect cock jutted out, bobbing as he climbed back onto the cot. Anders licked his lips in anticipation.

Fenris smiled as he gripped Anders ankles and they both sighed as the strange magic took hold. That shy smile he’d seen with all the shyness gone. He’d longed to see it again and he smiled in return. Holding out his arms Fenris lifted his legs to his shoulders and crawled forward. Their cocks came together as Fenris leaned down, folding Anders in half and completely exposing his entrance. 

More kisses before Anders felt Fenris’ slick finger circling and then penetrating. He groaned loudly as the tingling pulses intensified. It felt almost like that electricity thing that Karl taught him so many years ago that Isabela was so fond of. He’d never found anyone else who could do it correctly.

Anders tried to push against the finger moving inside and gasped, “More.” He ran his hands through Fenris’ hair and down to his chest as he sat up slightly.

“Patience Mage,” Fenris said quietly but Anders felt a second finger being pushed inside him.

Any burn or pain was swallowed up by the rapid pulses of magic. He moaned and mewled steadily as Fenris’ fingers stretched him. A third finger and Anders finally reaches between them to his cock, weeping precum and twitching as the fingers move. He spreads the white fluid over the head of his cock before he begins stroking himself slowly.

“Fenris…please,” Anders pleads. The fingers disappear and he whimpers again at the loss. Very soon he can feel Fenris’ cock at his entrance. “Yes…please,” he pleads desperately.

“You are beautiful like this,” Fenris said his voice husky with want. “Completely undone…for me.”

Moans escape both of them as Fenris buries himself inside. Fenris, his hands at the back of Anders knees, holding him open, pauses to let him adjust. Anders, lost in a sea of pleasure, can only manage one word. “Move.”

And he does, Anders matching his rapid thrusting with his hand. All too soon Anders gasps then cries out as his seed spurts onto his chest. He squeezes and tugs slightly on his cock, milking every drop of pleasure he can. Fenris’ thrusts into him and moans his hips snapping once then twice, spilling his seed inside of Anders.

Fenris slides his legs down to rest on his thighs breathing heavily. Anders sits up enough to cup the back of his head and pull him down for a lazy kiss.


	22. Chapter 22

Anders finished wrapping up a cut for a shy young woman. She smiled at him and scurried out of the clinic. He smiled as he went back to folding bandages. The last few weeks had been a learning experience for them both. Fenris began helping him with patients again when he wasn’t with Hawke. Anders was happy to have the help and he continued teaching Fenris.

Fenris didn’t seem to mind the work or the instruction but the first time his sleep was interrupted Anders had sent him away the next day. He’d been irritable and had scared more than a few of Anders’ patients. After that word spread quickly that unless you were dying not to bother the healer when the lamps were out. Fenris put them out every night at around the same time.

Now that he was getting a decent amount of sleep, Anders’ mood improved. He was calmer and had less trouble with Justice. The spirit was the biggest source of trouble between them. Anders hadn’t completely cut his ties with the Mage Underground but he was much less active. After he’d almost lost complete control of Justice, Anders was determined to learn control or die trying. He hadn’t given up on helping the mages but the semi-constant inactivity frustrated the spirit.

Justice’s irritation made Anders more irritable and had caused a few shouting matches. Neither of them ever won these arguments that were mostly about their differing views of mages. One of their arguments had Fenris storming off in a huff. It had left Anders angry and irritated but mostly worried. Worried that he’d ruined one of the only good things that had ever happened to him but he couldn’t bring himself to follow the irate elf.

He spent most of the day pacing distractedly until a mostly drunk Fenris had stumbled into the clinic in the early hours of the morning. It was surprising to Anders that Fenris had been babbling about some of the same things that had plagued him all day. After a long night of caring for Fenris and a longer day of watching Fenris sleep off an incredible hangover they sat and calmly discussed their views. While they would never agree completely, Anders and Fenris began working on a plan that would address all of their concerns for change.

Sleeping arrangements had been difficult at first as well. Anders’ cot just wasn’t big enough for both of them unless one wanted to sleep on top of the other. They tried pushing two cots together but somehow they both ended up squashed together on the same one anyway as they both loved cuddling. Hawke ended up buying them a bed that they could both fit on after one morning of listening to them snipe at each other all the way up Sundermount.

It was also an interesting process figuring out how to sleep together without looking like a pair of fireflies all night long. That had happened only once and the chill Anders had gotten after they separated had left him ill. Fenris had been annoyed that Anders hadn’t told him of the chill in the first place then nearly worried himself sick until Anders felt better. After that, Anders wore nightclothes that covered most of his skin and Fenris made sure there was always a blanket between them.

Despite the difficulties and arguments, Anders was happy. They were still learning each other’s habits and what the other didn’t like or couldn’t stand. Anders had discovered one didn’t sneak up on Fenris, even by accident, unless that person had a very high tolerance for pain. After having his arm nearly broken when Fenris had suddenly spun and wrenched his arm behind his back and his nose very definitely broken when Fenris had shoved him into the nearest surface, Anders always announced his presence somehow. Fenris had learned the same thing after Anders had nearly set him on fire.

Anders knew there would be more, happy and unhappy discoveries in their future but those could be worked through. He was happy and Justice seemed a lot calmer than he used to be. It was enough for now.

He looked around at the sound of the door. Fenris stood just inside the clinic with his staff in one hand shifting his weight nervously. He’d left early that morning with it saying he’d have a surprise for Anders when he returned. It was fairly late in the day now and Anders walked toward him curiously.

Fenris met him halfway across the room and held the staff out. “Here,” he said.

Anders took it and felt a new enchantment. It would boost his healing abilities but he still felt the original enchantments. “Fenris…” Anders started. He stopped when Fenris held a hand up for silence.

The staff was turned in his hands until Anders was staring at the two stone dogs. The one that was slightly behind still had the raven feather around its neck but the front one was different. This was where the new enchantment had been added. The dog had been etched with markings very similar to the one’s that adorned Fenris.

“It’s…beautiful. Fenris…”

“I asked if another enchantment could be added after we found the Qunari in the sewers. When Hawke was wounded badly. Sandal did the enchanting. The…markings were Hawke’s idea but…”

Overcome with emotion, Anders pulled him into a hug. Fenris wrapped his arms around Anders as he looked at the stone dog over his shoulder. The words he wanted to say wouldn’t come out so he whispered an emotional “Thank you” instead. But inside his head, with no one but Justice to bear witness, he thought the words he couldn’t quite bring himself to say.

_I love you._


End file.
